Transcript: Martin Short on Good Hang with Amy Poehler

hi everyone welcome to Good hang I'm Amy

polar and we have a great guest today it

is Martin Short the hilarious and kind

and generous and just deeply talented

person who I grew up loving and love

even more now as a grown adult um we're

going to talk to Marty as his friends

call him about uh Canada and the SNL

50th and only murders in the building

and how it felt to have Co and not be

able to accept an award that he

won but what's really exciting is um

we're also going to talk to some other

comedy Legends who love Marty and who

want to uh talk nicely behind his back

and tell me questions that they think I

should ask him so joining me um before

we get to our interview are Tina Fay

Maya Rudolph and Colin

Jo this episode is presented by the

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Places do you say

Maya and Colin I'm being asked would you

mind flipping your phones to the side

like yeah and I know this seems weird

but can you hold your credit cards up to

the screen too oh yes you want the C CVC

yeah we need the CV the CVV we need the

DV Jo I don't know if you know but I

already did a podcast with Tina who

nicely came in to be interviewed I look

forward to doing one with you Maya I

look forward to doing one with you yes

and joose you were Nam dropped in in in

the interview that Tina and I did we

were talking about um how much we love

going to the

Lampoon so we're doing this thing um

where we're asking people to kind of

talk behind people's back in a good way

so I've got the great Martin Short on

today never you've all worked yeah never

but I bet he's good if you like him yeah

I like him I think you should check him

out I think he's

funny I found him on Tik Tok oh so uh I

guess my question is what yeah you know

how much do you love Martin Short what

do you love about him what do you think

I should ask him when I think about him

I think he's

Evergreen

he's he's the he's always funny and he's

always up for being funny and he will

always always make you laugh and he's

there is a there is a just an unbridled

joy in him in the in the pursuit of

being funny I mean don't get me wrong he

works hard at it and but he but you can

see that he loves it and you can also

see that he loves to be among funny

people there are some funny people who

love to be solo acts and he's not one of

them I think he's one of those people

that thrives among the Funnies

and he's just like a like a great guy so

inherently that comes through somehow

through the comedy which makes you love

him more when I found out that he had a

stamp in

Canada I was like oh that that that

checks out that makes sense you're

perfect that's awesome wow I got to look

at the image of that is it just him or

of his characters I wonder my memory is

it might have been one of his characters

character from halfwits it's a it's a

regular stamp but he owns it he bought

it Canada's a much cooler place because

I think Katherine O'Hara has a stamp too

I'm just saying I don't think any of us

are getting stamps in the next four four

to

four so I'm gonna ask him about a stamp

um Tina Jo anything you feel like I

should ask him anything you want to say

about Marty I love Marty I want to I

want to claim my love for Marty early

like I know I love him I've also had a

crush on Marty from like decades before

everyone else I remember I came to New

York City when I was maybe in college

and you used to be able to go see um uh

Broadway shows for free by being an

usher and so I I was ushering at a a

production of gods spell in like the

early 90s late 80s with like triny

Alvarado as in whatever and I remember I

was ushering and I turned around and I

saw um the two people that I handed

their programs to were Paul Schaefer and

Martin SCH and I was like because of

course Marty had been in the original

Toronto production um but also I was

like I was Star Struck and also I was

like also Marty's cute anyway I'm on

record I'm you're not alone buddy you're

not alone Mike so I do I would love to

hear him talk about that Toronto

production of God spell because I think

that cast was incredible and it was like

Gilda rner and I want to say Andrew and

Martin like it was insane

yeah and then the other kind of question

I was thinking about was um uh you know

everything that we everything that we

know Marty from that we grew up with

it's all Canon right like everything

from Father of the Bride and Three

Amigos and and Clifford all these things

andv to us it's all just like comedy

Bible I wonder for him during that time

if he ever felt

like frustrated with being like the

funny person in the like was was he

happy with his career in that time or

did he did he want more and and does he

does he feel differently now but just

because I feel like we also all look at

our own things going like oh well I

should I should be doing this or I

should be doing that but does does he

know that he has this tremendous body

good was he was he ever grouchy about it

at the time oh good question and

jie I'm doing a Counterpoint right yeah

yeah

you're what actually sucks about Mar

yeah not nice person hasn't made me

laugh I didn't I was just think

realizing this he was actually weirdly

my first

SNL character I ever saw because I went

on a studio tour when I was young and I

saw Ed Grimley like in stuff backstage

or Pro like promotionally around and I

didn't even understand what it was at

the time but I always remembered it

being funny and and that was like my

first kind of character I saw there

before I watched the show what I wow and

I loved I mean Three Amigos I just loved

those and and my grandpa so couldn't

understand Three Amigos and my brother

and I watched it all the time and my

grandpa was just like what is this I

don't understand it we love that I guess

my questions are like I was wondering

did he have any did he have any like

rivals in comedy at different times in

his life do you think okay this is this

is a good question do you think I should

be asking these kinds of questions on

this podcast because I think Marty's a

great person to try it out on because

he'll he he's so kind of graceful I also

think I just watched that um that weird

year documentary and I also would be

curious to hear a little bit of that one

one year in that cast on SNL and was

like there I don't know if you talk

about this either but like for the SC

SCV cast were they were people like

hooking up in that cast too the way

there was like early SNL you know what I

mean

I don't know that's yes dude so Jo your

questions are who was your biggest enemy

and who did you hook up with okay those

are great those are I'll start with

those Maya thanks for taking a break in

the middle of your show Amy this was a

really good hang thanks Maya whoa great

hang great hang good hang that's my show

my Show's great hang damn that's gonna

be better no I just I I disagree it does

sound better it does sound

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nowo I want you to know you're one of

the first

three well you know that makes me feel

good thank you it was I don't feel like

I got any time with you at the SNL 50th

well the only thing we got was Co you

know everyone got it okay not only do I

know that everyone got it but so we

we're doing this thing on the this

podcast where we're asking I'm ask

reaching out to people who know you or

like friends of yours or ours to ask

them what I should ask you so I just did

a zoom with Tina Maya and

Jo and all three of them have or had SNL

Co yeah they all got it yeah so did uh

so did um Amy Schumer yeah Merill dang

um Mike Myers now I've done scenes with

all of those people and I shared a

dressing room with Merill I did a scene

with Mike Myers and Maya you got nothing

I know but did you have a good time at

the like how was the experience oh it

was great the whole thing was great yeah

I mean on the Thursday Steve and I went

down to the comedy seller with Simon

Rich and John malany I mean to try out

material which is an insane idea because

as we were going down there I said to

Steve when was the last time you went to

a club like this you went uh

1966 so when they saw him they went

insane were they stilling not going to

laugh at his jokes of course everything

right but do you guys do your cuz I want

to talk about your tour that you do

because Tina and I are basically copying

what you're doing but um do you go on

the road and try out your stuff before

the tour yeah never never yeah I feel

like it's not a genuine you just can't

no no no no that's what you know Ali

Wong that the the great standups will do

that and and then they burn their

material yeah you know I don't and I I I

kind of I think it's hard to get like an

honest laugh from like to your point the

audience is too hot yeah there's they're

really excited to see you in Steve's

case they're saying okay they're both

alive that's so weird so so much for

newspaper articles and so already you

have them you know there's a famous

story Jack Benny I think in his last

concert in England he was like 80 or

something and he came out and got a 12

minute standing ovation and then his

first line was I'm not that good you

know so there's an element of that I

wanted to talk to you about the

congratulations are winning the SAG

award yeah two of them I know what you

mean you are nominated all the time and

you don't win and the time and then the

time that you win you're not there was

that

a was that a bummer I wasn't watching I

was watching the brutalist uhhuh sure

you watch it every night well you know

what it is yeah it's like Elon Musk you

need a positive sense of like a big warm

blanket around you before bedtime so you

always put on the brutalist I do that

and then

prescriptions um yeah but yeah I start

with the brutalist uh no so then so then

someone said turn on and I was stunned I

mean it was like that's what Selena

Gomez said we always lose well I I I

related not to front door brag but I

have been nominated often and never win

never how many emm do you have only one

but I think I've been nominated let let

me pretend to not know the number

um no but it is something in the 20s

Steve says in our show I say how many

Emmys do you have he says I want to say

five I want to say five but I have one

but I was thinking about you because I

know for me every single time no matter

how much I've um tricked my brain into

knowing who cares it doesn't matter like

there's this

weird physiological moment that happens

when you're just the the Split Second

where you're thinking maybe I'll have to

go up there maybe I'll have to give a

speech does that happen to you um you

know it has happened to me certainly but

I will tell you in this experience of

only MERS in the building this we're

starting our fifth season absolutely

never had a consideration in fact that

you were going to win no no not remotely

in fact

um um I think that some you know the

publicist send you things and they were

yeah sag predictions and there were like

three other people gold Derby races or

whatever and there were there was always

like well if it isn't Jeremy Allen White

I'll tell you it will be Jason you know

seagull I mean it was like you were

never even close so how did you win the

SAG what did you who who did you sleep

with I guess I'm a beloved I'm guess you

know I guess the actors stupid icon give

it to the actors and they'll vote for

anybody leave it to actors they'll vote

for anybody no but I mean I was bummed

to see you not be up there but I was

wondering if you cared I certainly it

would have been thrilling to be there

but I do find that stuff of you have to

get up and did you forget a name and I

agree then if you pull out a piece of

paper you're a wimp and you don't have

any Soul you know I saw Timothy shalam

just speak totally yeah he killed it he

was so good and what I'm going to do

next time if I ever win again okay I'm

going to get up there and lower the mic

so that I can lean down to it like he

did that's a power move yeah it's a

power move talk like this when you're

when you're this length when you're this

lanky yeah you know and I agree you

either have to kind of freeball it and

just be you know off the top of your

head and just talk about how you're

feeling or you have to have really good

jokes the in between is stressful right

the in between is stressful and then

also leaving up that name yeah like oh I

forgot to thank Selena yeah right that

would be would that would that be the

kind of thing that would keep you up I

would feel badly and she would say it's

cool there's no one cooler than Selena

yeah you know she is so cool she is so

Co how did you guys what I mean I'm sure

you've told this story many times in

other places but never to me when well

because you just started a podcast

that's right yeah that's right exactly

um and usually when I see you at parties

you're a little bit removed yeah yeah

it's like um looking over the shoulder I

just want to see if there's another more

famous person there m Myers here yeah

yeah I don't like to I like to not

settle in until I find the alpha in the

room and then oh I know oh I know and

I've talked to people who know and I

won't elaborate on

that but the the um only murders how did

Selena get like how did you guys get her

did was she attached with you at the

same time no no no no it started off um

Steve was at a party at Sandy

gallon I don't know 13 years ago and

sitting on the couch was um Ron riffen

Joel

gray

and someone else and Sandy said that

those three you should do a show for for

them that's all he said and Steve's

driving home and he's obsessed with True

Crime and watches it all the time and

thought well the tell that's an

interesting idea three older people who

solve crimes in a building but they'll

only solve a murder in the building

because they don't want to travel and he

had the title he had everything and then

he put it on the back shelf for a few

years and then uh had a meeting with Dan

fogam and Dan said any ideas you have

and he said well I have this one idea

and it was L into production how it got

to be Selena I don't I I don't actually

know I know that um Steve phoned me and

said would you like to do it and I

thought it sounded great and you know it

was work yeah you know uh if he had said

you want to do the the Chrysler

industrial mainly for we're bringing at

the duster we're bring that car back I'd

say sure and you say you say that

there's a check is that what you're

inferring Steve no anyway so I was

excited to say yes and then uh then

brilliantly they went to Selena you know

if they'd gone with someone another

older person it would be Murder She

Wrote yes it's so smart it's so smart

yeah it's so smart and I'm just curious

and maybe maybe I can have her on here

and ask like what is the Bob Balaban

that was the third guy oh yeah Bob

Balaban I

love they were three on a couch he's

such a good actor um i' be so curious

about like what made Selena sign on for

another TV show it must have been you

and Steve she must have known she was

signing on to something Premier and

funny she has that taste you know I'm

sure I I mean i' I've told this before

but certainly the first day of shooting

it was um we were in the height of covid

first day of shooting yeah so we had to

wear Shields and masks and yeah and um

so I had never uh met her we had zoomed

in read throughs and stuff and I'm

driving to work thinking well she could

be a nightmare yeah she I mean she's a

princess she's since she was 14 what if

she's I thought oh if she's late forget

it Steve will quit cuz that's is Aisa

well what if she doesn't know her lines

or what if she's what if she's mean to

people and all those things go to thread

and literally I met her in the makeup

room and I she smiled I thought okay

she's just adorable and she has never

been a second late she is such a pro

it's a joke and then all these endless

guest STS we've had year after year have

all been again impeccable maybe um

they're afraid of Steve I think

interesting well maybe we have that in

common because I feel like people are

afraid of

Tina and not afraid of me and I want

them to be more afraid of me no no

they're never going to be more afraid of

you but do you want people to be more

afraid of you or do you like that

they're afraid of Steve no I like Steve

is like the pope you know I mean some of

these famous comic types they they like

me it's fine but when Dave Letterman or

Howard Stern is around Steve or or Jerry

Seinfeld it's

like hi Steve yeah yeah and I don't know

why because I know why I think it's

because Steve just doesn't talk as I

think the power move is to not talk as

much that's what I like the the quieter

you are so that's my big problem is

you're that's your problem and this is

my problem Y Yak y y yak yak

and we're like hey this is this is me

this is me this is me and you just have

to stay quiet and everybody projects

everything on you so you're

saying that's like a line in the movie

jimy Glick and lwood hold for Applause

um best we improvised a great deal and

Jan

Hooks uh Elizabeth Perkins was

complaining that her husband needed sex

three times a day and she said oh honey

I'll tell you you got to get a blow up

thing because listen had four kids

[ __ ] me is like [ __ ] a

purse and you'd s saw Elizabeth Perkins

shake her hand cuz she was supposed to

be drinking bring it up to her mouth so

she doesn't spoil the take and I said

Dixie remember when we discussed the

word

Mystique Jiminy Glick

Marty well let's just let's focus a

second on Jan Hooks let's FOC okay

you're right let's talk about was

than Jen hooks there were a few women at

that SNL 50th that I was really missing

that I really wish I could meet because

I have never met one of them was Gilda

and the other was Jan never met either

one never met

Jan and she was she was the like the you

know Kristen wig or Kate McKinnon of the

cast when I was growing up Jan was so

talented so such a good actress so funny

and moving we did a special together in

95 where she played everyone everyone

from David Letterman's mother she played

Brett Butler that was so so good so

vicious she's so good yeah yeah I missed

her and I loved Lorraine and Jane

holding up Gilda's picture oh I love

that love that I loved that yeah I had a

great moment with Lorraine and Jane

where I I I didn't know Lorraine that

well I've just kind of like seen her at

events over the years and we I felt very

um bonded with her by the end of the

weekend I don't know if she felt the

same way about me but she was just I

know she didn't she didn't I asked her

damn it I said who did you bond with who

didn't you bond with and she well she

opens up with the the word surprise

surprise so which shocked

me she didn't like you she didn't I

could feel I could feel

it kept nodding her head no she said I'm

not a fan of the chatty chat she was

like I wish she was quieter oh my God

she said like Steve Martin like I'll

tell you they make you you know I wanted

me is Tina F totally yeah um damn it I

felt that I felt that because but she

her and Jane she shared two things with

me that I loved one was just a small

detail but I loved it she's like Jane

and I are getting ready together which I

just love that's a very that's a very

girl thing like who are you getting

doing hair and makeup with for the party

and Jane and lorine were getting ready

together which just warmed my heart like

I love that and also they just both

seemed great

and uh I was like I said you two look

great you seem great and we kind of had

a moment where we said you know women

know how to age like they can they do

better with aging than men well some do

most um you disagree well okay let's

let's put it this way if

go yeah if you're talking about someone

who's had I said suture who's had 15

facelifts but yes but and then has that

look but that's I think I think we get a

little confused that well maybe I'm

wrong but we live in Los Angeles we see

that a lot but the rest of like your

average people in country I'm sure I'm

sure women T like look at women look at

men and women when they turn 50 it's it

can be diffic it's I don't know every

school reun high school reun I went to

the women look pretty great and the men

they look bad terrible why okay here's

what okay here's what's not

good gald is tough and that's that that

I don't even mind who's the most

handsome bald person uh Paul schaer Paul

schaer bald person fabulous yes so he um

I say of Paul that I've known him since

72 and even in 70 two he looked like a

Mater D in a

spaceship um Anna and will killed as

Bobby and Marty at that music oh my God

was there anything funny and I said to

will after I said okay did that take you

two months or three months he said we

learned it today today and Anna was

doing a great impression of um of Paul

playing them the part because it was

like he was playing yeah 45

45 songs at once and it was a complete

chaos and they crushed it and to

me Tina and I were talking about this

after to me there was something very

proud of like I felt very proud of all

of us I don't know why but it felt like

a win for all of us that these two great

sketch comedians came out I mean I feel

this way when I watch you work and when

you and Steve are together like can come

out and just settle a crowd and just it

just own the room there's a joy when

people people are not nervous God I love

so abolutely and

also neither

character or forget actor but neither

character they were playing was trying

to be funny yeah they weren't trying to

they weren't saying laugh at they were

just being sincere in who they were and

it was oh my God was that a Triumph I

thought Bill Murray killed yeah

everybody was incredible how about Maya

and

friends incredible like Fred can do

these physical things the slightest

there is no one funnier than Fred I

agree this is what Fred said to

me this is what first of all well this

is visual but every his dressing room is

beside me so I would pass his room and

he'd be on his phone I'd say hey Fred

and he

go say Fred you're not really asleep oh

oh I'm oh hi how long have you been here

Fred I just saw you on the and the other

thing he did which he completely

convinced me was true was um when I left

the stage after the good

nights he said why did you call Paul

McCartney Tony

McCartney I said I

what yeah I mean you said oh Tony

McCartney and because I didn't know Paul

was standing beside me I thought did I

and such a funny joke then I told Bill

herter this and Bill told Fred and Fred

sent me a text like a couple days ago

sorry I'm so I thought you knew that was

a joke I literally thought I'd said Tony

McCartney the stupidest thing in the

Tony McCartney Tony McCartney I wish I

said it of course you know not knowing

Paul's name Fred used to send me long

texts about his flight schedule like

when he was arriving what airport what

time to get picked up as if I was

picking him up from the airport he is so

deeply funny he also does a bit that I

love where if you haven't seen him for a

long time at a party and you go hey

Freddy goes Hi how are you like he

pretends you're just a fan bothering him

he's so funny he loves a bit he does a

million of them too and everyone's funny

yeah but people feel that way about you

people feel like the

way even we were talking earlier with

Maya and Tina and Jo like people feel

that way about you Marty of all the

funny people people think you're the

funniest I don't think so because okay

well okay thank you but I find that I

find what I do with like fred is if it's

at a party I'll say Do You Hear What

Fred said yeah there's a lot of did you

hear what Fred said I I agree that I

think Fred is like genuinely one of the

funniest people I know

but I think you are too the thing that I

love about watching you is and I don't

know maybe you're faking it but I feel

like the lesson I learned at SNL and

Beyond is if you are enjoying yourself

people will enjoy themselves oh I

absolutely but the people don't really

apply that often into the work that they

do and even into the comedy that they do

well some people can't hide it you know

I used to think that even if I was if I

was at work and I was feeling low about

something I would do an impersonation of

myself happy yeah and then that would

get me happier like when I started doing

talk shows I I I kept thinking first

time I did a an you know important

American talk show would be December of

82 Letterman mhm 12:30 show and I

thought what is the gimmick here oh I

got to do an impersonation of myself at

a dinner party really loose and having

fun but I got to get it down to8 minutes

you know yeah that's deep I remember

Lauren telling me when I was doing

update you have to do a version of

yourself for update that's yeah yeah a

removed version of yourself or are you

doing lip are you doing

lip nothing worse than dry lips is it I

get them constantly it's actually a

problem of mine I love that you needed

me to do it to feel free that you could

do it yeah I mean I can't I can't do it

that's too rude but if my guest pulls

out lip balm now what if you looked over

and I had bright red lips I wor red

lipstick I love a lip

balm uh it's one of the things about La

that really crushes me is how dry it is

here very dry are is this your homebased

la like this his home no I was born and

raised in Hamilton Ontario Canada and

then uh when when I was 22 I moved to

Toronto which is 40 Mi east of of

Hamilton I've been to some of those

Lakes you talk about outside of Toronto

and it does not get warm ever it doesn't

it does I was there mid August this is

and I this is and it was about 55

degrees I know but this is going to be

sorry okay well I'm going to say it and

I'm going all be criticized and but it's

a real girl thing to say to be cold yeah

how dare you you [ __ ]

I do a cold plunge [ __ ] every

day okay but let me say something know

again I got to get in trouble again but

a girl sing to be cold no one's going to

be mad about that a girl calls a cold

plunge is not what a guy call God I'm

doubling like I don't consider I don't

consider 71 a cold pun yeah I mean when

I say cold punch I mean oh God no not

like real coal without my socks on

that's a cold plunge no I have a high

tolerance for cold I proudly got into

cold plunging like five years ago and I

do it all the time now like every good

podc I'm I'm I'm you know decades older

than you I would think that I'd say I'm

going to do a cold plunge

and and be dead and dead be dead just

floating right in that cold punch no I

slowly built up it was during covid and

I was genuinely I was so what what

temperature did you start truthfully

truthfully uh I I was so anxious and and

depressed during covid that I was trying

all these different things and so I

would do the sauna and the cold plunge

was about 48 49 degrees and how cold

would you get it now same I don't do it

any colder I maybe the coldness is like

47 right that's cold it's cold and I

started by just like going in and out in

and out for years and then building up

and now I can do a couple of minutes and

it is com I cannot recommend it enough

how about just a cup of coffee just a

lovely cup of coffee in the morning you

know I want to talk about your tour

because Tina and I are on tour and we

asked you for advice I don't know if you

remember or maybe we probably sent some

glip you did you said well you said you

gave good advice you gave a lot of good

advice but because we've been doing a

show on tour it's been the best it is

dream come true fun well this is what it

is this is what it is

because you and Tina love each

other then there's a rehearsal there's

laughs there's a dinner yeah there's

perhaps a glass of wine afterwards MH so

it is kind of like as much fun as it can

be because you're happy to see everybody

and I know this sounds silly but because

I was never a touring

standup or a musician I don't think I

ever sold tickets where people knew they

were going to get me you know I was

either part of an Ensemble part of a

sketch group part of an improv show or I

was hosting something that it wasn't so

the the fact that people show up already

knowing that you are who they want to

see is it it just gets so much out of

way well that's why you know you've done

corporate dates and things now they can

be tricky because they're not showing up

for you they're showing up cuz you know

they work for

tide and so

um you kind of have to be prepared for

hi everybody

nothing and not take it personally yeah

oh yeah I mean but when you when when

people have paid to see you it's it's

great compliment and they're happy to be

there and I know it's it's the silliest

most obvious thing but I realized our

first show oh people knew it was going

to be just us yes that's right and they

paid to see us and there's a like a a a

honest exchange between your performance

and their ticket like I do the show for

you you come and pay for it like it

feels very honest whereas I feel well

see that's the other thing I think that

if if and Steve is similar to me and I

know that Tina and you are the same if

you felt or if I felt that Steve was

kind of walking through it that night

then I'd say you know what this has been

great we did it but we can't do it

anymore because that would and vice

versa he would like be stunned so I

think that that there are certain things

in in Partnerships that goes with

without saying it and that commitment to

understanding that people not only paid

a lot of money they got a babysitter mhm

there was a dinner maybe you know it's

yeah we have like tons of women who come

with their friends or mothers who are

bringing their daughters this is the

their night out for the month they hotel

room and um and we're the same when we

were done with the show we look at each

other and we're like we gave them a good

show like that's what we feel good about

yeah I know I I it's but I must admit

especially doing different Broadway

shows through the years I've rarely

met anyone that just wouldn't walk

through it I'm always amazed when I go

to a Broadway musical and it's let's say

Wednesday mat and it's maybe not the

greatest musical you still can't believe

the talent on stage I know the level of

the work like they're working like it

was opening night yeah and I don't think

their computer knows how to do it

differently what was it like like I we

like a lot of people in comedy i i i

obsess about those early Toronto days

and you all together and that was crazy

crazy I mean one of the questions Jo

wanted me to ask you

was who who was sleeping together that

we didn't know

about you don't have to answer but he

wanted me to ask you but oh I used to be

able to there's a big picture of the god

spell cast and I can go day by

day day by day

oh dear lord three things I pray no it

was the

70s yes it's so good I mean that that

period of time with all the people that

you were there with because you were

there with who Paul Paul I was there

with Paul Gilda y um Andrea Martin yes

um Victor Garber Eugene Levy we were on

the same cast wild and I remember Steven

Schwarz it was down it really like 500

people was like American Idol the whole

day was the call back day and friends

were at the back cheering on friends

and you know Gilda got up there and and

bib overalls and with pigtails on either

side going and saying Zippity Do and I

thought oh that's the saddest thing I've

ever and they said you're hired and I

thought oh I maybe have to rethink cuz

I'm doing My Funny Valentine so I don't

know but it was just she was exact what

they were looking for M and um and then

we all just got but I remember Steven

Schwarz it was down to about 12 people

and it was between me and another guy do

you remember the guy I no I want to call

him say his name is Andrew I never saw

him again but I just remember Steven

Schwarz who was like 24 at the time

himself went like this Andrew you're so

so good but I think we're going to go

with Martin and I'm still in University

it was like wow so Eugene and I who are

friends went back and there was a pay

phone we kept borrowing each other's

dimes and phoning people and tell them

what happened and it was a dream now you

weren't in University anymore now you

didn't have to study more any more exams

you could stay up as late as you want

you could drink beer at the end of the

show and he told you in real time pretty

wild right at the end of the day we knew

wow wow wow wow that was unbelievable I

mean can I can I ask you a little bit

about Gilda because we talked about Jam

but yeah I like the things I hear about

Gilda and just might be my projection

but I just feel like I would really love

her oh you have been mad loveely what I

can't always balance is like how like

you you said something about her one

time about like she just was so

comfortable with her own just the story

you told her own weirdness and

strangeness like her own like she really

knew she was just you know what she was

just every you know I've said this

before but every girl wanted to be her

best friend yeah and every guy wanted to

go out with her I remember she came up

to the first rehearsal and said hi Marty

I'm so happy to be here and she had her

finger on her forehead and it's I said

okay good I knew she was doing a Dr then

she pulled and she had a big pimple

here she was just so original the size

of her purse the fullness of her hair

yeah

um and you know I I fell for Her Madly

yeah tell me more about that well we

just because it's just like it's just so

sweet I mean oh no no when she was you

know she was how old were you when you

guys each was younger I was 22 to her 26

wow and um and we went uh we would break

up and get back but over a couple years

what what kind of attachment styles did

you

have what does that

mean do you have an hour but um do you

were you anxious anxiously attached were

you an avoidant no no no no no no no no

no in fact I'll tell you exactly what is

very interesting Gilda had you know

emotional ups and downs and I had just

gone through a period where my parents

had died right and my mother had died

and all she wanted to do was live and

she was the happiest person in the world

so to me one of the issues that Guild

and I had where we'd have fights about

was I

think what do you have to be not happy

about you're talented you're you have

family money you everyone loves you

everyone wants to be your friend

everyone wants to date you no one is

funnier you get the biggest laughs of

anyone on

stage you know but I was only 22 you

know I didn't understand you know I mean

look we're learning a lot of things

about gals today one is they can't

handle cold and the other is we' not

learned that not learned duh mood

swings so I mean I'll like make a list

of the things I've learned about you say

something really beautiful which is you

did have a you had a lot of loss early

in your life and you learned that lesson

that some people learn and take away

which is you know we are here once you

got to figure you know like we have to

enjoy life TR I've never understood

why for some reason cuz my my brother

died when I was 12 my mother when I was

17 my father at 20

why I didn't become victim of that why I

became oddly empowered by it to the

point that I could be on stage and put

my hair up in a point and

say I think it's funny you know totally

I mean and not be did they like me I

don't know I do they I was never that

and I think because I grew up in a very

funny family I was youngest of five

Irish Catholic and if they liked you

that's all you cared about you didn't

really you just might have been built

that way they're just like your nervous

system was right and some people um

understandably become you know victims

of of these tough situations but don't

you feel like that's the I mean for me

anyway that is the thing about getting

older is realizing oh the the simple

lesson over and over again that we all

process differently like I cannot get

someone to be happy if they're not or I

can't or I can't get my and as a parent

you know because we always want to solve

yeah yeah I mean there's some kind of

version of that what you talk about that

Joy of being alive that does come out in

the stuff that you do and also what I

love about you is you also play

very how do I say this like sharp and um

biting characters like you're you're

also really funny at playing people who

are not rooting for you and but we love

like okay jimy so jimy yeah no but I

mean wouldn't we love morons with power

we love you know that's a better way to

say um people who I mean to me the the

idea that Jiminy Glick was a guy who had

a staff working for him and someone was

afraid of screwing up the lunch order I

said tuna when I say DJ Mustard does not

mean frenches and they're quivering you

know it's kind of like MH can you

imagine the staff when they leave after

delivering Trump his 48th thing of

Kentucky Fried Chicken what they're

privately saying MH I don't call this

hot yes sir and Germany to me is a very

familiar person in the in the world that

the past 20 30 years of like press that

I've had to do compl that kind of person

who to your point king of his kingdom

king of his kingdom and you come to them

and this this is how we do things and

they're inquisitive but like mean and

they they ha F from Kids in the Hall

said Marty oh you finally created a

character who's as mean as you really

are in life well but that's like I think

that's what I'm getting to is I do you

think you are meaner than people think

you are probably but I think that you

know my father was sarcastic and Irish

and mean I mean I I remember taping um

recording two half hours of present

opening on Christmas morning and you

hear my father oh Michael what a lovely

I wonder what Michael would give you if

he had money you know it was like oh

yeah was just all that stuff but teasing

is a love language yes yes yes that's

what I do for people so but there were

the thing that was weird for me doing

jimy Glick was that because it was

improvised I would say things that even

shocked me afterwards like I remember

interviewing Edie

Falco and she was in the middle of an

answer and I went sh just cuz I asked

you a question does not mean that I need

an answer thank you and she said

afterward she was really thrown because

being shush was her Achilles heel as a

kid oh so you can see it even the she

did that and it was also so insane so

insane a great great moment though I

mean Jiminy is the videos that people

watch that my people watch

to check like to just get a huge

serotonin boost like it is Jiminy videos

all the way we Tina and I all of us send

each other those videos almost every

week still I love that they just they're

so

funny I think it is that ability to say

the worst things yes and have no

fingerprints on it like I said you know

saying to Mel Brooks what's your big bee

for the

Nazis and and he just kind of goes my

big beef my big beef I said you're

always knocking the nazzi oh it's time

for Mal Brooks to knock the

Nazis and he goes I don't know the

rude and and the guest it was completely

like like they didn't know question CL

the only thing we ever did once with

stepen

Spielberg uh I said to Stephen okay at

one point I'm going to ask

you to describe how how you view the

role of a director m M and kind of look

off mhh and so what we planned was the

only time we ever planned anything like

this is that he was talking the camera

stay with me and I slowly got down in

the chair and crawled to craft service

and took all the candies put three

Donuts put them in my pocket crawled

back crawled up in the chair I said and

interrupted oh isn't that wonderful now

[Laughter]

so God Jiminy forever jimy forever um

you have a stamp in Canada I Do I Do Is

it a picture of you or one of your

characters it is picture of many

characters so it's a many character

stamp yes it's a stamp I have a coin wow

yes is was that cool did you get did

they have a a ceremony and everything no

they didn't have a ceremony but they had

uh or they did and I didn't show

probably more like it you know what I

mean it's probably I it was they did

they had a guy except for you yeah they

were doing a whole you know Bewitched

tournament on TCM and I wasn't going to

miss

that um no um a coin I have uh yes a

stamp and so does Katherine O'Hara I

heard the great so does Jim Carrey Mike

Myers a few of us all heroes of mine I

was 12 and 82 were you on SNL what year

were you

onv in 82 I joined it in in the spring

of 82 so what how many years were you on

SNL one wild what was your first year um

when I started 2001 I started two weeks

after 911 wow that was the time when it

was like you know will we ever laugh

again comedy is dead right and I

remember thinking but but maybe not

maybe it's you know maybe we should

still laugh um yeah the our my first

show was the Giuliani show with the

first resp responders on stage right who

was the host reys Witherspoon musical

guest Alicia

Keys and that was September 29th or

something 2001 God and you know you it

was like you know the beginning of any

job it's like where are the bathrooms

how does this work how do you get

anything on and we're not going to do

anything political for three years

comedy is over New York is you know

hurting we're going to you know there's

Anthrax in the building but isn't it

interesting that that

happened then Co happens over and over

again th this idea that how can we get

through this personal people have

personal tragedies in their life it's

like over and over again we think how

can I get by and for me and maybe for

you like comedy just continues to be the

thing that I think pushes people oh

absolutely through yeah because it is so

absurd our life that that that these

perfect lives will end one day

and um and that tragedy exists there is

a reason that the two masks are comedy

and tragedy because they're both

Preposterous and I think comedy

has saved my life endlessly endlessly

you know yeah and and and being so lucky

to to be in the family I had this Irish

Catholic youngest of of five siblings

that are all still so close and all

funny and all of us do Wordle every day

and everyone is mean to each other and

insult each other and it's perfect it's

the best yeah it's

the my father someone laughing I my

father my father would never uh never

had dinner with us you know because he

have his big he was Irish so he had and

he was a successful guy but he'd have

his big Irish broke yes cross mlen count

M Marty get down here and uh so he he

would come home we'd be in the nook

having dinner and he'd have the

newspaper with his gin and ginger no ice

cuz the Irish feel ice is addictive so

he'd sit there and uh he'd uh Marty

don't shovel the food in like an animal

D thank you and then one or one time he

got up and he said Michael keep eating

I'll make sure the dogs don't get at you

know it was just and of course if you

weren't the brunt of it you found it

hilarious yes but that's that's love

that that is the fact that somebody

feels like you can take the teas yeah is

that high compliment people ask Steve

and myself this a lot I'll ask you have

you like Steve and I insult each other a

lot you know I mean in life it started

with me insulting him in life because

that's how I grew up and then we turned

it you know we insult each other on

stage but people always wonder if there

if I've ever gone too far or hurt his

feet

I didn't mean to it never has happened

and Steve will answer that question by

saying I think it's because we just know

we'd never intend to yes that's right

yeah and we have Tina and I have a

different Dynamic we don't we don't

really insult each other well you'll

fight over the heat right like if it's

too cold in the room you'll say o that's

my blanket I mean do you ever do that

stuff no you don't mm but I think you

see it's so funny you say that because I

think of you ladies as that's where you

should stop well no I just think of you

should just stop don't don't think of us

so you never say okay Missy that you

don't say that okay that's my blanket no

we're really we usually are the same

temperatures so so sorry why should I so

I shouldn't just verbalize what

everyone's thinking I don't think

everyone's thinking it I think it's very

personal okay whatever you think that's

fine I don't know if any if you noticed

this at all but um there's a lot of this

is my personal fake food some of my

personal fake food collection so we've

been trying to figure out how to make

the studio Feel Home you know what

interesting would have fake food and it

would be boring to look at thank you but

the way you've arranged it like the

cheit well let's talk about it for a

second while we just have a second yeah

okay so this is a for people who might

be watching this rather than listening

to it there's a tiny little um paper box

of Cheez itss yeah and you think oh it's

just a teeny tiny miniature box of

cheese that's there can't be anything in

there no it can't be anything it'd be

silly if there was maybe there's a tiny

cheese

it do you know what's sad about this

moment you you actually know a lot about

this stuff this is my stuff no I know

that's what's sad but you know what oh

my God sometimes when I'm like I'm

dieting but I'm still hungry for

something

does have an icy you know what when I

have a tiny Nutri box of neutr grain

bars well surely nothing's in there oh

it's a tight just a silly little box it

couldn't be an

actual neutr grain bar in with a

anthropomorphic face that's winking at

you let's see if you can see that right

see a lot of people would find that

disturbing yeah not me not me but

meanwhile

well thanks oh hold on hold

on party and not to be not to make a big

deal but this isn't real this is a

candle

and it's fake bread and it looks like a

candle see if you were on a blind date

with a guy and he brought you back to

his apartment and said you want to see

all these things I've done that I've

brought all my men

through some it isn't you'd say okay and

I put it yeah and I go let's go guess

which is fake I go put it in your mouth

put it in your mouth and tell me what's

fake that's how I get them well that

was I'm not see clip clip yeah clip I

can sensor but look a simple felt fake

garlic this isn't garlic this is

felt oh you're kidding felt tomato come

on why

you oh that is so clever and you know

what again some people would have this

and not make it interesting but you

describing

it is really really

interesting oh thank you oh look you can

do props you want

to take your word for

it I'm a pirate you know listeners uh

Marty is putting a fake tomato in one of

his eyes and pretending he's a pirate

it's this kind of prop stuff that's

great for podcasting I know and you know

what it's so interesting I realize now

as I do it it's one of the things that

have kept me out of the big money is

prop humor prop humor but you're making

it work what's that an egg this is a

fake egg ASMR listen to

this it doesn't sound fake to

me people make so much money doing click

ity click things with microphones not

but not with a fake egg but what a gift

you have if this is an indication of

what your podcast is going to be yeah

it's really really I think I wouldn't

make a big cake to celebrate the second

week but certainly um I bet you finish

this week yeah we will definitely finish

this week we will definitely yeah and

they've been very nice and they they

they I in fact they I wouldn't bother to

decorate the whole place I mean you've

got you've got this stuff going I think

it's oh

pancakes baked pancakes they just said

someone just said to me great job and

let's finish the week that's what

someone said to me and I take that as a

good sign yeah well I think it's very

good so my last question to you is and

I'm asking a lot of people this what is

the thing you like where do you get your

serotonin what do you look at watch

listen to where do you go who do you

hang with I mean we you're very funny

friends but you know what is the what is

something that you like genuinely laugh

at that you watch or consume I can

always turn on Annie Hall and just get

lost in it um but I have

great friends for a long time decades

and decades friends who are all famous

people in comedy and everyone is funny

one time I was having lunch with Chris

guest this is years ago I was making

this movie Captain Ronnie said Martin

what is this film about and right away I

knew he'd hate the film you know I said

well Chris um I play a

man who has two children who inherits a

boat he said I didn't say spoiler for

me I thought do you have anything you

like like now that like you're watching

or anything that's making you laugh no

you know I truthfully I am uh a News

Junkie well this is yeah okay I watch

you know Morning Joe I every morning

I'll turn on CNN so there are many many

I love Bill Maher but there are many

many things that people say you haven't

seen that I mean when I go to the emys I

don't know who's a massive star or who's

a seat filler because there's so much I

haven't seen there's just still that

last Sint elsewhere I haven't have

you

El God I loved Saint elsewhere love s oh

but there that s elsewhere was so I'm

telling you

this the last time you watched TV is say

jck said to Bill hater I'm still mad

they cancelled Aras you

[Music]

know all right well I love you very much

thank you so much for doing and so I get

paid yeah not in cash right no no in

Bitcoin in

Dogecoin in Doge Doge in Doge a

catcoin well that was an awesome

interview with Martin schw he is the

best and and now it's time for something

we're calling the Polar Plunge which is

basically how do you

get how do you change your day how do

you make yourself feel better I do like

to jump in a cold water I know it's

weird but I have a podcast so I have to

do it um but I think one way to uh like

change the molecules in your brain and

give you a serotonin boost is to laugh

and there is no better laugh for me than

Jiminy Glick so do yourself a favor and

watch that character played by Martin

Short in a variety of videos online

Jiminy Glick interviewing Bill hater

when he stepped in for Jimmy Kimmel is

so funny hater cannot stop laughing and

he just loves getting teased and that

kind of teasing between people who are

mutually respectful of each other is

like my favorite kind of love language

um so yeah Martin schw thank you for

Jiminy Glick the gift that keeps on

giving and um if you have never watched

that character please binge it

now thanks so much for listening to good

Han thanks for hanging with with us we

will see you next

time you've been listening to good hang

the executive producers for this show

are Bill Simmons Jenna Weiss Burman and

me Amy polar the show is produced by the

ringer and paper kite for the ringer

production by Jack Wilson cat Spain Kia

McMullen and Alia zener for paper kite

production by Sam green Joel Lovel and

Jenna Weiss Burman original music by Amy

miles