Transcript: Kerry Washington on Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Full Transcript
Click any timestamp to jump to that moment in the video.- 0:05
Hello everyone. Welcome to another
- 0:06
episode of Good Hang. Very, very excited
- 0:08
about our guest today. It is the one,
- 0:09
the only Kerry Washington. Kerry is so
- 0:12
talented. She is so good at so many
- 0:14
things, and we're going to talk about a
- 0:16
lot of those things today. We are going
- 0:17
to talk about growing up in the Bronx.
- 0:19
The Bronx, and how it shaped her, and
- 0:23
what she learned from being from there.
- 0:25
And we're going to talk about her
- 0:26
activism, how she stays connected in a
- 0:29
turbulent and often depressing world.
- 0:31
We're going to talk about Scandal,
- 0:33
because of course. And we're going to
- 0:35
get to the nitty-gritty in in a lot of
- 0:37
that. And we're we're we're going to
- 0:38
talk about Amazing Race. A a random show
- 0:41
that we talk about and talk about how
- 0:42
good it is for kids. We're going to talk
- 0:44
about her new TV show, Imperfect Women,
- 0:47
with Elisabeth Moss and Kate Mara,
- 0:49
that's coming out on Apple. All of these
- 0:51
things are going to be discussed today.
- 0:53
But most importantly, we're going to
- 0:54
discuss her with someone who loves her.
- 0:58
And who is that person? Fitz. That's
- 1:01
right. Tony Goldwyn, writer, producer,
- 1:04
director, just coming off of directing
- 1:07
Shay Joey, a new
- 1:09
musical with Savion Glover, that is
- 1:11
hopefully on its way to Broadway. We're
- 1:13
catching Tony right after
- 1:16
rehearsal. He's He's tired. And still,
- 1:19
he can't wait to profess his admiration
- 1:22
for his co-star. So, let's see if we can
- 1:24
get him on the Zoom horn. Tony, are you
- 1:26
there?
- 1:33
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- 2:01
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- 2:12
Tony?
- 2:13
Hi Amy, how are you? Thank you for
- 2:15
talking to us today because I have to
- 2:17
say that
- 2:19
the relationship that you and Kerry had
- 2:22
on screen and off screen is really
- 2:25
really wonderful to watch and people are
- 2:27
very invested in it. And what I what I
- 2:30
have to say is what I glean from the the
- 2:34
the way you two interact with each other
- 2:35
is a deep mutual respect. Mhm. Deep deep
- 2:39
respect for the way you work and the
- 2:41
kind of people that you are. Can you
- 2:42
tell us how you first met?
- 2:45
>> My first recollection, we may have met
- 2:46
briefly before this was at the
- 2:48
Democratic Convention when Obama became
- 2:50
president in 2008
- 2:53
in Denver which was a really incredible
- 2:55
experience.
- 2:57
You bet. And then and we kind of became
- 2:59
friends through kind of social activism
- 3:01
and stuff but didn't know each other
- 3:02
well.
- 3:03
But for me when Shonda asked me to do
- 3:06
Scandal and she told me Kerry Washington
- 3:08
was doing it
- 3:10
I uh
- 3:11
I Kerry was an actress who every time I
- 3:13
saw her in a movie I found myself going
- 3:17
who is that actress in that role cuz she
- 3:19
was so different in every movie she did
- 3:22
and at the end of the credits you know
- 3:23
I'd look and I'd go oh my god that's
- 3:24
Kerry Washington. She just was so great
- 3:27
in in everything I saw whether it was
- 3:29
Ray or Last King of Scotland and I
- 3:32
remember seeing her in that.
- 3:33
>> Yes. But again totally different than
- 3:35
anything I'd seen. So I I was just like
- 3:36
god I hope I get a chance to work with
- 3:38
her. So when Shonda said to me she's
- 3:40
like are you going to play the president
- 3:42
in my new show? And I was like
- 3:44
well Shonda Rhimes writing a president
- 3:46
that should be pretty interesting when
- 3:47
she said and Kerry Washington I was like
- 3:49
you and Kerry Washington I'm in. Had you
- 3:52
known Shonda before? Had you worked with
- 3:53
Shonda before? Yeah, I met Shonda. I
- 3:56
directed the I think the second or third
- 4:00
episode of Grey's Anatomy.
- 4:01
>> Oh, wow. Yeah, it was one of the first
- 4:03
TV things I'd done. I'd directed a
- 4:05
couple of movies and then
- 4:06
Betsy Beers, Shonda's partner, called me
- 4:08
and said, you know, we'd like would you
- 4:10
consider doing uh Grey's Anatomy? And I
- 4:11
saw the pilot of that show and said,
- 4:14
wow, this is amazing. Of course. I was
- 4:16
just getting used to directing TV. So, I
- 4:17
did that. And Shonda and I met and she
- 4:19
was brand new to television. Little did
- 4:22
we know she was going to become empress
- 4:24
of the universe. Yeah, totally.
- 4:26
>> But I knew the second I met Shonda, too.
- 4:27
I was like, oh, this woman's the real
- 4:29
deal. It's so interesting that you and
- 4:31
Kerry met in real life doing
- 4:34
um political work. I'm really in awe of
- 4:37
how she stays connected to the real
- 4:40
world while also playing these people.
- 4:42
Like those two things don't always
- 4:43
happen. She does. I mean, first of all,
- 4:45
she's like
- 4:46
to she's got this
- 4:47
amazing husband, Nnamdi. She's got she's
- 4:50
a totally fully devoted mom of three
- 4:54
kids and a you know, and and um
- 4:58
and her perfect and yet she's a thou
- 5:01
she's like a thousand percent in
- 5:03
everything she does. I don't know how
- 5:04
she does it and I can't ask her cuz
- 5:06
she's too modest. She'd just like laugh
- 5:08
in my face if I was like, you're
- 5:10
amazing, how do you do it? You know, she
- 5:12
she wouldn't take it. Yeah. So, you
- 5:14
know,
- 5:15
um
- 5:16
I'm
- 5:17
I've I've I've learned a lot. I learn I
- 5:19
always learn a lot from her.
- 5:21
>> What was it like? She was kind of the
- 5:22
leader of the show. She was number one
- 5:24
on that call sheet. Kerry um from the
- 5:26
get-go. We had an amazing cast of great
- 5:28
people, all grown-ups, no you know,
- 5:31
jerks in in the cast. But Kerry set
- 5:36
a tone by example. She worked harder
- 5:38
than anybody. And then that role, she
- 5:41
worked so hard. I have a funny story we
- 5:44
have like talk about leading by example.
- 5:47
And I think it was maybe
- 5:49
our fifth season or something like that.
- 5:51
Uh to pre when we were going to premiere
- 5:53
the season, Good Morning America wanted
- 5:56
us to be on the show, but they wanted us
- 5:57
to be on as their opening at 7:00 a.m.
- 5:59
to do it. So, we're like, "Great, great,
- 6:01
great, great, great." And then I was in
- 6:02
the makeup trailer and somebody else was
- 6:04
like, "Wait, so we're in LA. Wait, 7:00
- 6:07
a.m. means we're like 4:00 a.m. we have
- 6:08
to be here." Where were we working so
- 6:10
and everyone started sort of bitching
- 6:11
and moaning about having to be That
- 6:13
means you have to get up and the girls
- 6:14
are like, "And that means we got to get
- 6:16
up at 2:30 to be in hair and makeup."
- 6:17
Like, "I don't know, do you want to do
- 6:19
it? I'm not sure what Well, did you want
- 6:20
to And I'm kind of like, "Well, I I I
- 6:22
don't know. I mean, you guys want to do
- 6:23
it." So, I don't have to get made up
- 6:25
that much. So, we're like, "Well, what
- 6:27
should we do? What do we think?" Well,
- 6:28
let's just see what So, we were it was
- 6:30
one of those things of actors kind of
- 6:31
thing where we're like
- 6:33
like children. And we go to the I'm on
- 6:35
set and one of the Darby and I, Darby
- 6:38
Stanchfield, a wonderful Darby
- 6:39
Stanchfield was in our cast. We're
- 6:40
talking about it and Kerry walks into
- 6:42
the set on the stage. She wasn't working
- 6:44
there. She just walks to say, "Hi." And
- 6:45
Darby's like, "Oh, you know, I wonder if
- 6:47
Kerry wants to do Good Morning America."
- 6:49
Like, "Maybe I I was like, "Well, why
- 6:50
don't you go ask her and see what she
- 6:51
feels about it." So, Darby goes up to
- 6:53
Kerry and this is classic Kerry
- 6:54
Washington. And Darby goes, "Kerry, um
- 6:56
you know, I this Good Morning America
- 6:58
thing that's happening at like 7:00 a.m.
- 6:59
and that means we got to get there like
- 7:01
2:00 in the morning and and I'm just
- 7:02
wondering why And Kerry's like,
- 7:04
"Of course we're doing it. Darby, we're
- 7:07
in season five and ABC wants to promote
- 7:09
us by putting us on Good Morning
- 7:11
America. Like, of course we're getting
- 7:13
up at 2:00 in the morning to do this.
- 7:15
Like, isn't it amazing that they want to
- 7:17
put us on their opening of their show?"
- 7:19
And Darby goes, "Yes."
- 7:21
And then,
- 7:22
I think it's so fantastic. She comes
- 7:24
running over to me and I'm like,
- 7:26
"Yep."
- 7:27
And this is
- 7:28
That's quintessential Kerry Washington.
- 7:29
I mean, I want to talk to her about that
- 7:30
because she has this work ethic that's
- 7:32
really really you can feel it. And and
- 7:36
it's and it's you know,
- 7:37
it it feels very collaborative and
- 7:39
inclusive. It It feel like strident, but
- 7:42
I I'm really curious where she gets it
- 7:44
from. I don't know. It's for real. It's
- 7:46
just for real. It comes out of a kind of
- 7:47
joy and passion and some
- 7:49
intense inner drive that she does have.
- 7:52
I mean, you know, no one works as hard
- 7:54
as she. Just something drives her. Part
- 7:56
of it I think is
- 7:57
I mean, she's a
- 7:59
She has a lot of gifts to give the
- 8:01
world.
- 8:02
You know,
- 8:03
and a limited amount of time to give
- 8:05
them. Well, I want to ask her about
- 8:07
that. How does she stay, you know, how
- 8:09
do you stay How does one stay involved
- 8:12
in in this time of like deep fatigue and
- 8:16
deep like every day is really feels
- 8:18
really harder and rougher than the next
- 8:21
and there's a lot of people hurting and
- 8:23
a lot of people struggling. How do you
- 8:25
stay
- 8:27
How do you stay in it? It's a It's a big
- 8:29
question and she's got an answer for
- 8:30
herself which I think could be
- 8:32
useful to all of us. I mean, I want to
- 8:34
ask her about that. I sort of had two
- 8:37
things that I would
- 8:39
>> what do you What do you mean? What do
- 8:40
you want to ask?
- 8:42
As I told you, if I asked her myself,
- 8:44
she'd laugh in my face.
- 8:46
Um
- 8:48
You know, we talked about her activism
- 8:49
and Carrie is an activist.
- 8:52
She's not a normal celebrity activist
- 8:55
which is a great thing, you know, people
- 8:56
who donate their time and their money
- 8:58
and their uh image and their passion to
- 9:00
to things that they care about. Carrie
- 9:02
does it on a level of
- 9:04
next to maybe Jane Fonda, I've never
- 9:06
seen anybody like that. She's it's
- 9:09
it's a it's become a fully
- 9:10
professionalized, fully operational part
- 9:12
of her business. Mhm. It's like she
- 9:14
doesn't do anything If I'm going to do
- 9:16
it, I'm going to do it for real and have
- 9:17
a major impact. Um and uh
- 9:21
Yeah, so I just would love to hear her
- 9:23
talk about how that became so
- 9:26
professional, so full on, you know.
- 9:28
>> Yeah. And then I guess the second thing
- 9:30
I was I wanted to ask her which I could
- 9:32
never She would never answer to me
- 9:34
is the drive we talked about. Like And I
- 9:36
wonder as a parent
- 9:38
like
- 9:39
when you have that much drive as a human
- 9:42
being, I was curious to know does she
- 9:43
like impart that to them or is it
- 9:46
something that she just lays back and
- 9:48
has to dial that back in order to let
- 9:50
them
- 9:51
kind of be them or find it for
- 9:53
themselves. You know, I wonder. You know
- 9:55
what I mean? There's something about
- 9:56
that.
- 9:56
>> No, we do this.
- 9:57
>> It's Yeah, like how do you lead by
- 9:59
example? How do you figure out what is
- 10:02
the right thing for your kid?
- 10:04
>> Mhm. Before you go, and and those are
- 10:06
great questions and I want to talk to
- 10:07
her about both the things and they're
- 10:09
areas that I want to get into with her.
- 10:11
What does it feel like to have done a
- 10:13
show that's so still so beloved? I mean,
- 10:16
people
- 10:18
feel such a connection to that show
- 10:20
still. It is
- 10:22
and and of those characters. I'll just
- 10:24
say it reminds me a little bit of
- 10:26
when me and Adam Scott talk about our
- 10:28
characters on Parks and Rec. Like we
- 10:30
love we love Ben and Leslie's love. Mhm.
- 10:33
Like we love their love. Um and it feels
- 10:37
like you and Kerry both get that where
- 10:39
people are into you your characters'
- 10:43
love.
- 10:45
Yeah. Like what does that feel like?
- 10:47
>> thing. It's a beautiful thing and it
- 10:48
constantly amazes me. I mean, I guess
- 10:50
because of Netflix and whatnot, people
- 10:52
just this past month or two have been
- 10:54
coming up to me a whole lot going, "Oh
- 10:56
my god, I just finished Scandal. I just
- 10:59
discovered like people are just
- 11:00
discovering it." And I'm like, "Didn't
- 11:02
we finish that 7 years ago?"
- 11:04
And we had such a beautiful like you
- 11:05
said about you and and and Adam.
- 11:08
We had such a beautiful time doing it
- 11:10
and um
- 11:11
a group of deep friendships were made
- 11:14
which more than any other job I've ever
- 11:17
done. You know, I have some really close
- 11:18
friends from over the years that I've
- 11:20
worked with, but that group was like
- 11:22
your high school best friends
- 11:24
uh for 7 years and and we're all still
- 11:26
really tight. Well, I I so appreciate
- 11:29
you talking to us. Thank Thank the
- 11:30
questions. Kerry will be so happy that
- 11:32
we talked. Such a fan. Congrats on the
- 11:34
musical. Cannot wait to see it. Cannot
- 11:37
wait till it goes to Broadway. Cannot
- 11:39
wait till it wins the Tony and
- 11:40
eventually turns into a film that you
- 11:42
direct.
- 11:44
Thanks, Evan. Tell Carrie I love her. I
- 11:46
will. I will. Thank you so much, Tony.
- 11:48
Thanks for your time. Bye. It was great
- 11:50
seeing you.
- 11:51
>> Bye. You, too.
- 11:53
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Ooh, you're in a denim sandwich.
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>> I am. So happy that you're here. Thanks
- 13:13
for doing this.
- 13:14
>> I'm so excited.
- 13:16
>> I want to start because I'm obsessed
- 13:18
with New York kids. Oh. I mean, I grew
- 13:20
up in the suburbs of Boston. Kids who
- 13:22
grew up in New York, they're just
- 13:24
>> We're a different breed.
- 13:25
>> You are, and you grew up in the Bronx. I
- 13:27
did. What was it like growing up in the
- 13:29
Bronx, little Carrie? What was the Bronx
- 13:31
like when you were growing up?
- 13:32
>> The thing about being from the Bronx,
- 13:34
and I just did a speech about this, a
- 13:36
whole entire speech, because I was
- 13:38
presenting Jennifer Lopez with an award,
- 13:40
and she and I went to the same Boys and
- 13:42
Girls Club in the Bronx, and I was
- 13:44
saying in the speech that
- 13:47
the Bronx is like the underdog borough.
- 13:49
It's like the forgotten borough. You
- 13:50
know, like Brooklyn had Spike Lee and
- 13:53
Queens has all the airports and the
- 13:54
cemeteries and like a story, but the
- 13:56
Bronx is like the forgotten borough, and
- 13:58
people
- 14:00
don't expect much of you when you're
- 14:02
from the Bronx, and so there's like a
- 14:04
hustle. There's a certain kind of hustle
- 14:07
and determination to make it if you if
- 14:11
there's something you want to do.
- 14:12
There's a different kind of strength and
- 14:14
resilience, I think, from people who are
- 14:16
from the Bronx. I agree. It feels It
- 14:18
feels like the And also Fred Armisen
- 14:20
does a really funny bit about this. Fred
- 14:22
does all the accents of different parts
- 14:24
of New York, and he always talks about
- 14:26
the Bronx.
- 14:27
>> Yes. And how it's so Even the word
- 14:30
>> Mhm.
- 14:30
>> with an X in it.
- 14:31
>> So, it's also Yes, it has an X. It's
- 14:33
also the only borough that has a the in
- 14:36
front of it.
- 14:38
You don't say the Brooklyn. The Bronx.
- 14:40
>> The Bronx. It's like a thing. Yes.
- 14:43
>> thing. It's so true, and there's a vibe
- 14:45
I mean, it's a working-class vibe,
- 14:46
certainly.
- 14:47
>> Yes, for sure.
- 14:48
>> And a and a sense of pride, but you're
- 14:49
right. There is a There is a It's like a
- 14:52
scrappy, scruffy, hustler
- 14:55
>> vibe to it that I'm really proud of.
- 14:57
Super I don't think I would, you know,
- 14:59
have the things I have or have done the
- 15:00
I have to tell you this is a little bit
- 15:02
of a tangent, but I have to get I don't
- 15:03
want to forget to say this. When I this
- 15:05
morning when I got up, I was thinking
- 15:06
about I was prepping for this interview.
- 15:09
You're such a good You're such a good
- 15:10
student.
- 15:10
>> I was like I remember my first Time 100
- 15:15
dinner that I ever had the blessing to
- 15:17
attend. You were one of the Time 100
- 15:19
recipients.
- 15:20
And your speech changed my life. It was
- 15:25
extraordinary because you
- 15:27
got up. You It was like you stood up at
- 15:29
the tables. Do you remember this?
- 15:30
Everybody stood up in the room at the
- 15:31
tables and you thanked
- 15:34
your nanny. That's who you thanked in
- 15:36
your speech. Yeah.
- 15:38
I owe my own my nan- nannies.
- 15:40
>> Nannies.
- 15:40
>> A lot. And I I was thinking about it
- 15:42
this morning because it it really moved
- 15:44
me. I got very emotional at But I was
- 15:46
like, I wasn't even a mom then. I wasn't
- 15:48
a mom yet. And I think Like now when I
- 15:52
think about it, it I it's one of the
- 15:53
things I love about you because you do
- 15:55
credit the people who make it possible,
- 15:57
right? And I know like I'd be nothing
- 15:59
without the support that I have with
- 16:01
childcare or in home, all that.
- 16:03
But also,
- 16:05
I think growing up in the Bronx, my
- 16:08
grandmother, like I went to a very fancy
- 16:11
Upper East Side. I went to the same
- 16:12
school Gwyneth went to. I went to this
- 16:13
fancy Upper East
- 16:15
Upper East Side school.
- 16:16
My grandmother used to cook and clean
- 16:19
houses in that neighborhood. Mhm. And so
- 16:21
I think there was a part of me that when
- 16:22
you got up and
- 16:24
thanked your support team, your home
- 16:27
staff, it made me feel like my family
- 16:31
was seen. Like it made me think of my
- 16:33
grandmother and like you were thinking
- 16:36
the people that other people like to
- 16:38
ignore or pretend don't exist or want to
- 16:41
like marginalize. It just was so moving.
- 16:45
Carrie, thank you for saying that. I I I
- 16:48
think they people like to make the
- 16:51
hardworking class often invisible.
- 16:53
>> Yes. And also, it's just mean to other
- 16:55
women cuz it's like nobody's doing this
- 16:57
alone.
- 16:57
>> Nobody's doing this by themselves.
- 16:59
That's right. And you don't get more
- 17:00
credit by making other humans invisible.
- 17:03
Like it doesn't make you more perfect to
- 17:05
Well, you I feel like a lot of the work
- 17:06
that you do is exactly that, is making
- 17:08
sure that people feel visible and feel
- 17:10
seen. Like whether it's the art you're
- 17:12
making or the stuff that you're fighting
- 17:14
for. yeah. it makes sense to me that
- 17:17
like And it would impact me that way.
- 17:19
Yeah, I heard it that way. Mhm. Um
- 17:22
before I pass by J. Lo. Yeah, yeah. Just
- 17:25
a little mic drop on J. Lo. Just yeah.
- 17:27
She taught me how to dance. Can you just
- 17:29
tell us the
- 17:30
What do you mean?
- 17:32
So we had this dance teacher named Larry
- 17:35
Maldonado. Mhm.
- 17:37
And Larry was a dream. Larry taught me
- 17:38
so much. He was like this very eccentric
- 17:41
gay man dance teacher and he ran the
- 17:43
dance program
- 17:45
at the Boys and Girls Club and he got
- 17:47
really sick in the '80s, like a lot of
- 17:49
people did.
- 17:50
And
- 17:51
Jennifer is not that much older than me,
- 17:54
but she's a little bit older than me, so
- 17:55
she was one of the big girls at the
- 17:57
club. And so when Larry went into the
- 17:59
hospital, she started teaching dance.
- 18:02
Wow. She was teaching the little girls
- 18:03
classes. So I mean if I was like eight,
- 18:05
she was 16 or something like that, but
- 18:07
she was teach so I learned like hip-hop
- 18:09
and flamenco and like all
- 18:11
I learned to dance from Jennifer. She's
- 18:13
never hired me to dance in any of her
- 18:15
videos, but yeah, I don't know what that
- 18:17
says, but
- 18:18
That's wild. Because when you're that
- 18:21
age and there's like a 16-year-old girl,
- 18:22
they're just and they're good, they're
- 18:23
the most beautiful, talented yes. I
- 18:26
remember right before she left to go off
- 18:28
to L.A. to pursue her dream of being
- 18:30
famous,
- 18:31
um she did this duet dance with Larry.
- 18:34
So he must have gotten better and was
- 18:36
back and it was like very risqué. Like
- 18:39
the that we weren't supposed to watch
- 18:41
it. The the little girls were like you
- 18:43
know this is not for you. It was like
- 18:44
later on in the dance program, but we
- 18:46
all hid in the wings cuz we could not
- 18:49
watch it. And it was beautiful. She was
- 18:51
beautiful and it was just
- 18:53
Yeah, she was she's always been a real
- 18:55
inspiration for me.
- 18:56
>> so cool. What a fun like like slight to
- 19:00
use a Gwyneth term, like sliding doors
- 19:02
moment where you like you see you again
- 19:05
in 20 years in a different way.
- 19:07
>> Wild, so wild. And you went to Spence
- 19:09
and you were in Midsummer Night's Dream
- 19:10
with Gwyneth.
- 19:11
>> With Gwyneth. It's the only time I've
- 19:12
ever worked with her.
- 19:14
You've not worked with J-Lo or Gwyneth
- 19:16
since?
- 19:16
>> No. You guys, I'm good. We have history.
- 19:20
I'm available.
- 19:21
Gwyneth, Jennifer. Who were you in
- 19:23
Midsummer because I was also in that
- 19:25
play?
- 19:26
>> Who were you? Oh, you were Puck. I wish.
- 19:29
>> Who were you?
- 19:29
>> I was Peaseblossom.
- 19:31
>> Of course you were. That's very cute.
- 19:34
>> And I was a fairy, too, and I don't
- 19:35
remember which one.
- 19:36
>> I know, they're all named the same. You
- 19:38
might have been Peaseblossom.
- 19:39
>> I was. So me. So I just kind of I was
- 19:41
like a just like a background dancer.
- 19:42
>> Yes, yes, same. Did you know I mean, I
- 19:45
feel like you could do many things well.
- 19:49
You do do many things well.
- 19:50
>> My kids would argue with you, but I like
- 19:52
that you think that. And I feel like you
- 19:53
know, there's probably a point in your
- 19:55
life where you had to have a real like,
- 19:56
you know, you grew up around a lot of
- 19:58
artists, you knew from an early age that
- 19:59
you were a creative person, but did you
- 20:01
make a decision like I'm going to be I'm
- 20:03
going to be an actress?
- 20:04
>> Yeah, I did.
- 20:05
>> age? So I was halfway through college.
- 20:09
>> Okay, yeah, pretty late. Yeah, pretty
- 20:10
late. And I went to college on an acting
- 20:12
scholarship, which I didn't even know
- 20:14
existed, but and it was sort of like
- 20:16
being on a basketball scholarship. Like
- 20:18
I went I had to audition for all the
- 20:19
plays. I really got benched. I got to do
- 20:21
a lot of theater.
- 20:22
>> Right.
- 20:22
>> Um and so that was maybe the beginning
- 20:24
of being like, oh, people will give me
- 20:26
money, like significant amounts of money
- 20:29
to do this cuz it was helping to pay for
- 20:31
my education. But then halfway through
- 20:33
college I did this um summer
- 20:35
conservatory program at Michael Howard
- 20:38
Studios in Chelsea in New York.
- 20:40
And that was the first time in my life
- 20:42
that from the moment I woke up, you
- 20:43
know, to the moment I went to bed, all I
- 20:46
did was act. There was no like hiding
- 20:48
behind other class work or being an
- 20:51
academic or it just was like I was just
- 20:53
an artist all day long every day.
- 20:57
And I was so happy.
- 20:58
>> it.
- 20:59
>> so happy.
- 21:00
>> Yeah. And I was doing like clown work
- 21:02
and improv and scene study and acting as
- 21:06
a business class and I just was like I
- 21:07
couldn't get enough.
- 21:08
>> Yeah.
- 21:09
>> to sleep there at night. I just I I was
- 21:11
like I So I thought, "Okay,
- 21:13
I'm going to try to do this." I gave
- 21:15
myself 1 year after college, and I was
- 21:17
like, "If I can get a significant job in
- 21:20
this year, then I'll go for it." And it
- 21:21
But at the same time I had like the
- 21:23
workbooks next to my bed to study for
- 21:25
the LSAT.
- 21:26
>> That's what I get for Oh, LSATs.
- 21:28
Interesting.
- 21:29
>> Yeah, I thought maybe grad school for
- 21:31
psych, but I But that even was like I'm
- 21:34
going to try for law school first. And
- 21:36
in a in a again, sliding doors way, you
- 21:38
would be what kind of lawyer? Right now
- 21:40
I'm thinking of like all's fair. I'd be
- 21:42
like a badass divorce lawyer, sexy Sarah
- 21:45
Paulson type. But I don't know.
- 21:48
Whatever it is, it'd be sexy. is, it'd
- 21:49
be sexy.
- 21:50
>> heels.
- 21:51
Um I don't know. Maybe I'd be like an
- 21:53
Olivia Pope. Like maybe the Maybe the
- 21:57
like the souls or the energy in your
- 21:59
life gets to you no matter how, you
- 22:00
know? So maybe I would have been a
- 22:01
crisis person, and I figured out how to
- 22:03
be that person. I mean, my mom, who
- 22:05
desperately did not want me to be an
- 22:06
artist, she's a professor of education,
- 22:09
and she was like, "I just I don't want
- 22:11
you to starve." You know, she just the
- 22:13
idea of a starving art. Okay, but I
- 22:15
brought my parents with me the first
- 22:16
time I was at the Emmys. The first time
- 22:17
I was nominated at the Emmys, I brought
- 22:19
them, and
- 22:20
>> That's nice. we were sitting at sitting
- 22:21
at the Governors Ball, and my mom's like
- 22:22
cutting into her steak, and I was like,
- 22:24
"ANYBODY STARVING?"
- 22:29
SHE WAS LIKE, "YOU'RE DOING OKAY." Um
- 22:31
but I I think Oh god, I lost my train of
- 22:35
>> thought. No, I think that was not a
- 22:36
humble story to tell. No, I love that
- 22:38
story. And also, what I feel like is is
- 22:40
you gave yourself a year, and in that
- 22:42
year something big happened.
- 22:43
>> Yes. What was the break?
- 22:45
>> You're good at this.
- 22:46
>> Yeah, I'm good I'm good at listening.
- 22:48
Thanks. Let's brag about ourselves for a
- 22:50
second.
- 22:52
You're so good at this. You kept track.
- 22:55
It's really my one job because you're
- 22:57
not intimidated by the tangents. I like
- 22:59
I can bring us back.
- 23:01
And I honestly, it's I if the if you
- 23:03
care to know,
- 23:04
>> I it's
- 23:05
if if you care to know
- 23:07
>> I do.
- 23:07
>> about the tangents. I don't know if you
- 23:09
think I'm much more of a rememberer.
- 23:11
>> Uh-huh. So I think about a tangent when
- 23:13
when you're talking, I think about
- 23:15
literally a line going out like this and
- 23:16
I picture it going out like that and I'm
- 23:18
like just don't forget to get it.
- 23:19
>> Ooh.
- 23:20
>> I actually visualize it so I don't
- 23:22
forget it. Do you do that in your improv
- 23:24
work? Like when you're doing when you're
- 23:25
doing a sketch, it's really similar,
- 23:27
right?
- 23:29
>> things in order to remember them. Like I
- 23:31
try to give it some kind of like picture
- 23:34
in my mind. Yeah, because you have to in
- 23:36
the scene work let it go some you have
- 23:39
to be open to the exploration, but then
- 23:41
also remember you got to land the plane.
- 23:43
So your first big break. See? Did you
- 23:45
see that was magic? Did you see that
- 23:47
happen?
- 23:51
Okay.
- 23:51
>> What is What would you consider your cuz
- 23:53
there's a lot of things that could be
- 23:54
your first big break.
- 23:55
>> Yes. I think so I gave myself this year
- 23:58
and in that year I booked my very first
- 24:00
film which was called Our Song which is
- 24:03
actually having its 25th anniversary
- 24:05
this year. Tell us about that film. It
- 24:08
was this really tiny scrappy independent
- 24:11
film. I mean our entire transport
- 24:13
department consisted of like four metro
- 24:15
cards.
- 24:16
Renting and buying metro cards.
- 24:19
>> Exactly.
- 24:20
We had no wardrobe department. I mean it
- 24:22
it was it was it was an incredible
- 24:25
experience cuz it was we were stealing
- 24:27
shots on the subway. We didn't have
- 24:28
permits. But it was a story of these
- 24:30
three girls growing up in Brooklyn and I
- 24:32
wanted this part so badly. I learned to
- 24:35
be in a marching band to be in the movie
- 24:37
cuz it was about a summer in these three
- 24:39
girls' lives in Brooklyn that are all
- 24:41
part of this marching band.
- 24:43
It was the best experience. I When I was
- 24:45
a kid we lived in this high-rise that
- 24:48
was across the water from LaGuardia
- 24:50
Airport and we were like in a flight
- 24:52
path where at the 12th floor which was
- 24:54
the top floor these airplanes would fly
- 24:55
by when I was a kid and I would always
- 24:57
want to be on those airplanes. Like
- 24:58
where are they going? I wanted to be on
- 25:00
those planes like explore other places
- 25:02
and have adventures. And when we were
- 25:05
filming Our Song, we were stealing shots
- 25:07
on the A train in Far Rockaway close to
- 25:09
Kennedy Airport and I remember sitting
- 25:11
on the train and a plane going over and
- 25:14
thinking, "Nope, there's nowhere else I
- 25:16
want to be. I want to be right here
- 25:19
doing what I'm doing. You can't put me
- 25:20
on a plane right now. I am like in
- 25:23
This is it. This is it. I'm in the
- 25:26
pocket.
- 25:26
>> That's such a cool feeling. I mean, you
- 25:28
kind of wish it for everybody, right?
- 25:30
That whatever they're doing they realize
- 25:31
like this is exactly what I want to be
- 25:32
doing.
- 25:33
>> Yeah, I wish that for my kids. I wish it
- 25:35
for myself even like project to project
- 25:37
cuz sometimes you sign on for something
- 25:39
and you're like, "Oh, this is exactly
- 25:41
what I thought it would be or better.
- 25:42
Like this is better than I could have
- 25:44
imagined and it feels so good." And
- 25:45
sometimes you're like, "What time is
- 25:46
lunch?" Yeah.
- 25:49
I know When you When did you first
- 25:52
>> We're super lucky to be doing what we
- 25:53
do. We're blessed.
- 25:54
>> really hard. I think it's as hard as
- 25:56
coal mining.
- 25:58
I think acting is brain surgery. I think
- 26:00
acting is harder than brain surgery.
- 26:02
>> I don't know why more actors don't win
- 26:03
the Nobel Prize.
- 26:05
>> Yeah, I agree.
- 26:06
>> Cuz we bring peace.
- 26:07
>> When people talk about brain surgery,
- 26:08
I'm like,
- 26:08
"Try acting." Honestly?
- 26:10
>> Seriously for one day.
- 26:11
>> like in your brain doing surgery.
- 26:14
Exactly. I'm in other people's brains.
- 26:16
You know what I mean?
- 26:16
>> Yeah, multiple patients a year.
- 26:19
WHO'S STARVING NOW?
- 26:23
SEE WHAT I MEAN?
- 26:24
>> SEE WHAT SHE DOES? It's brilliant.
- 26:29
Okay, yeah. Tell me when you first heard
- 26:32
about Scandal. Was it written for you?
- 26:34
>> Uh-uh. I mean, Shonda one of one. She's
- 26:37
one of one.
- 26:39
>> What an incredible
- 26:41
like phenom of a human.
- 26:43
>> truly.
- 26:43
>> So, it was an idea It was an idea out
- 26:45
there that you heard about and did you
- 26:47
feel like I I have got to get that?
- 26:50
>> So, you know, there's been a lot of talk
- 26:53
when Scandal came out, a lot of the
- 26:54
headlines were like, "This is the first
- 26:56
time that a black woman is leading a
- 26:58
network drama in almost 40 years." Like
- 26:59
it hadn't happened in my lifetime, I'd
- 27:01
never seen it in a network drama. So,
- 27:04
you can imagine that when word on the
- 27:06
street was that there was a show that
- 27:08
was starring a black woman that was
- 27:10
going to be on ABC, like people went
- 27:12
crazy. Everybody wanted to read for it.
- 27:14
And God bless Shonda, she was like, "I
- 27:16
didn't have the heart to say no." So,
- 27:17
she read everybody from like 15 to 85.
- 27:20
Everybody wanted to be Olivia Pope. She
- 27:21
read everybody. She met with tons of
- 27:23
people. Um I heard about the project and
- 27:26
I was really a film actor. It was that
- 27:28
time when like film actors were starting
- 27:30
to do television.
- 27:31
>> movie, you were Chris Rock's movie.
- 27:34
>> done Ray, I had done Last King of
- 27:36
Scotland.
- 27:38
So, it was like I I was like the good
- 27:40
luck charm. Like if you hire me to play
- 27:42
your wife, you win an Academy Award.
- 27:43
Forest Whitaker, Jamie Fox. So, I
- 27:47
I wasn't hesitant to do television cuz I
- 27:50
was starting to see that there were
- 27:52
these incredible women like Glenn Close
- 27:54
was doing Damages. And you know, you
- 27:56
were starting to see it that there were
- 27:58
opportunities for women to play
- 28:00
anti-heroes and have like more rich
- 28:02
experience in television. And movie
- 28:04
stars were doing more TV. And so I So,
- 28:07
I wanted to read the script. I was like,
- 28:09
"If it's great, I'll consider it." And I
- 28:11
read it and I was like, I It was one of
- 28:13
those things where like I threw the
- 28:14
script across the room cuz I was like,
- 28:15
"This is I have to play her. It's for
- 28:19
me." Like no I have to The unfortunate
- 28:21
thing where there were like 10 other
- 28:22
actresses who felt the same way.
- 28:24
And so we all auditioned and auditioned
- 28:27
and auditioned.
- 28:27
>> and come in and come in? I met with her
- 28:29
first. Because I was at a certain place
- 28:31
in my career, I could do a meeting
- 28:32
first. So, I met with her. And I
- 28:35
remember getting off the elevator and
- 28:36
there was a huge sign that said
- 28:37
Shondaland and I was like, "Oh, I don't
- 28:40
know about this."
- 28:42
Right. Like it's your land.
- 28:44
>> Right. Like what does that mean? Right.
- 28:46
have a country I live in.
- 28:48
>> Yeah, you know you always want to be
- 28:49
careful when people say their own name
- 28:51
too much. It's It can be Yeah, you never
- 28:53
know. And then I sat down with her and I
- 28:55
was like, I'm in. Yeah.
- 28:57
>> Like I will give up my citizenship to
- 28:59
live where in this land of yours. It was
- 29:01
I just I loved her. It's interesting you
- 29:03
have to play a character who has to kind
- 29:06
of like take care of other people.
- 29:09
>> Yeah. And do you feel like in playing
- 29:11
that character you learn anything about
- 29:13
how you take care of other people in
- 29:16
your life? Like are you a fixer? I could
- 29:20
and almost did write an entire book on
- 29:22
the things I learned from Olivia Pope.
- 29:24
Ooh.
- 29:25
>> She taught me
- 29:26
>> a couple chapters.
- 29:27
>> so much. The The biggest thing was she
- 29:29
and I feel like you'll really understand
- 29:31
this. She taught me how to be a number
- 29:32
one. Mhm. Like at work and in my life.
- 29:35
She taught me how to like step into
- 29:38
leadership and not shy away from it and
- 29:40
to
- 29:41
be team captain to not be afraid of it.
- 29:45
That whole like it's my name on that
- 29:46
door. Like she taught me to not be
- 29:48
afraid of that. Cuz I always thought I
- 29:50
mean I had this role model of Jennifer
- 29:52
Lopez, but I was like I'm not that. Like
- 29:55
I'm not that pretty and I don't dance
- 29:57
like that and I just I thought I'm never
- 30:00
going to be the kind of actor who's like
- 30:01
on the cover of magazines. I'm just
- 30:03
going to I My goal was to have a career
- 30:05
where I could pay the bills, do a few
- 30:07
commercials a year, do a lot of theater,
- 30:10
and like just live a happy artist life.
- 30:12
So she really taught me like to not be
- 30:15
afraid to step into more. Yeah. And that
- 30:18
was extraordinary. And yes, I think
- 30:21
there was there is with her
- 30:25
I don't know if she taught me how to be
- 30:27
a fixer. I think I brought a lot of that
- 30:29
to her. Like it was written that way. I
- 30:31
don't mean to say I invented it, but I
- 30:33
already understood
- 30:36
the need to want to make
- 30:39
things around me better. Yeah.
- 30:41
>> help people and to like that's in me.
- 30:43
It's a little bit of like an only child
- 30:45
thing, and um
- 30:48
maybe a little bit of my own
- 30:49
codependency. Like there there there is
- 30:51
some something in me that wants
- 30:55
to help other people. I mean, even that
- 30:56
joke I made about like if you hire me to
- 30:57
play your wife, you'll win an Academy
- 30:59
Award. Like I do take a lot of pride in
- 31:02
the fact that I think
- 31:04
when I go home at night, I want to know
- 31:06
not only that I did my best work as an
- 31:07
actor, but I take a lot of pride in
- 31:09
helping other actors do their best work
- 31:11
across from me in the scene.
- 31:12
>> Sure.
- 31:13
>> Like I want my scene partner to be like,
- 31:14
"Whoa, I didn't know I like you know
- 31:16
that you can do things to like push each
- 31:19
other and and make it better." And like
- 31:21
that idea of the water we all rise
- 31:23
together. Like I love that. I love
- 31:25
helping people win. I mean, I think
- 31:27
that's the best thing about TV is like
- 31:29
when you're locked into a part that you
- 31:31
love and with people that you love. Like
- 31:33
I know you love Tony. I you love your
- 31:35
cast. Like you're in a marriage. You're
- 31:37
really in like a long marriage where you
- 31:39
have to like each other.
- 31:40
>> Yes. Yes, it's family. It's really
- 31:43
interesting because this is like what
- 31:45
the fans don't want to hear, but I I
- 31:48
really am so grateful for the healthy
- 31:52
relationships that I was able to have
- 31:53
also with the men on that show. Like
- 31:54
Scott Foley and Tony Goldwyn. Like I
- 31:56
love their wives. They love my husband.
- 31:59
Like there's so much
- 32:00
>> Okay, well, let's talk about this. Yeah,
- 32:02
let's talk about this.
- 32:03
>> about this is people ship you guys all
- 32:05
the time.
- 32:06
>> hard. And we by the way, we like to [ __ ]
- 32:07
with people. Like we I
- 32:09
>> Of course.
- 32:10
>> stuff all the time with Tony. Like And
- 32:11
that's how you can tell everyone's
- 32:12
secure.
- 32:13
>> Yeah. Yes.
- 32:14
>> That's how you can tell.
- 32:15
>> key. Because you can tell that
- 32:17
everybody's feeling totally fine and
- 32:19
enjoying it and it cuz when people don't
- 32:21
do that
- 32:22
>> then you can't [ __ ] around.
- 32:23
>> That's the scandal. Hey! No, but I mean,
- 32:26
it's it is it's like
- 32:28
what that's what the sense I got from
- 32:31
watching you two work together and
- 32:34
and full disclosure, we talked to Tony
- 32:37
for this podcast.
- 32:38
>> What?
- 32:39
What did he tell you?
- 32:42
I'll tell you.
- 32:43
>> Tell me all the things. I love him so
- 32:45
much.
- 32:45
>> I know. And
- 32:46
>> If he said anything bad, I'll kill him.
- 32:50
And um L- it it he is a
- 32:53
>> you that he likes my husband better than
- 32:54
he likes me? Cuz that's the truth.
- 32:56
>> Well, I'm obsessed with your husband.
- 32:58
>> I am, too.
- 32:59
>> Naughty was so funny on the Kroll Show,
- 33:00
by the way.
- 33:01
>> so good on the Kroll Show. He was
- 33:02
so funny.
- 33:03
He's really funny.
- 33:04
>> I love him.
- 33:04
>> Yeah. And to Okay, so you're saying like
- 33:06
you guys were able to have a healthy
- 33:08
working appropriate
- 33:11
platonic relationship where you were
- 33:12
able to discover these characters
- 33:14
together and enjoy the fact that people
- 33:15
love them together.
- 33:16
>> Yes. We I love that people ship them. I
- 33:19
love it. I love it so much. I love that
- 33:21
people get into arguments like oh Lake,
- 33:23
oh Litz, all that stuff. It's I love it.
- 33:25
And I love that you know
- 33:28
that we gave people romance. You know,
- 33:31
that we gave people escapism, that we
- 33:33
that we made people think, that we made
- 33:34
people feel. I love all of that.
- 33:37
>> You had two kids while you were doing
- 33:38
your show.
- 33:38
>> Yes. I also had children when I was
- 33:41
doing a show. It's very hard.
- 33:43
>> it wild?
- 33:43
>> the way, never really I don't think I
- 33:45
really knew that. I mean, it never
- 33:46
really sunk in that you you were
- 33:49
>> my kids were being hidden behind boxes
- 33:51
and Prada bags. So, you had them both
- 33:53
though. You were You had You were
- 33:55
pregnant and gave birth on both with
- 33:57
both during show? Yes.
- 33:59
>> Dang.
- 34:00
>> Yes. That's hard.
- 34:03
That's hard. I'm just going to That's
- 34:04
all I have no question.
- 34:06
Because
- 34:07
>> I only It's hard.
- 34:09
>> It's a thing. But also, I was so so
- 34:13
blessed because Shonda also had young
- 34:15
kids and we built a playroom on the lot
- 34:18
and Viola had a daughter and How to Get
- 34:20
Away was on the same lot. And so, we
- 34:23
would We had this playroom like I had my
- 34:24
kids at work with me all the time. I
- 34:27
figured out how to nurse during, you
- 34:28
know, camera turnarounds. I was like, I
- 34:30
need 15 minutes. Get on.
- 34:33
Um and I just I loved it. I love my my
- 34:36
kids are set kids. They're set kids.
- 34:38
They They are comfortable on a set,
- 34:40
which is important cuz I went with my
- 34:42
mom to when she was teaching, I went to
- 34:44
her office and I would sit in her
- 34:45
lecture halls and I want them to know
- 34:47
that what I do is work, that I'm that
- 34:49
I'm working, you
- 34:51
>> Um okay, we talked to Tony. Yes, okay.
- 34:53
Oh, yeah. How did I forget? Okay, what
- 34:55
did he say? Um I mean, he's he's your
- 34:57
biggest fan.
- 34:58
>> Aw. And you know, there's so many things
- 35:01
about you that like, you know, he I
- 35:03
mean, we talked about like
- 35:05
the fact that you're the the the amazing
- 35:08
activist that you are, the way that you
- 35:10
stay engaged with the world, the way
- 35:12
that you make sure that um you use your
- 35:14
currency for good.
- 35:15
>> Mhm. And how important it is to you and
- 35:18
how impressive it is to people. I mean,
- 35:20
you have been working tirelessly for a
- 35:22
long time and talking to people about
- 35:23
what matters to you and what matters to
- 35:25
this country and what matters to the
- 35:26
world. How do you stay engaged right
- 35:29
now, Kerry? It's tough. It is really
- 35:31
tough.
- 35:31
>> And people are feeling super fatigued
- 35:33
>> Mhm. and really feeling numb and checked
- 35:36
out.
- 35:37
>> Yeah. And um
- 35:38
feeling disconnected and feeling
- 35:40
discouraged. How are you staying
- 35:43
connected and not opting out? Any
- 35:45
advice? Do you know that toxic
- 35:47
positivity thing that people talk about
- 35:50
of like
- 35:50
>> Well aware of it.
- 35:51
>> Yeah, right. I'm I'm I don't want to do
- 35:53
that.
- 35:54
>> I mean, I I I don't want to But this is
- 35:57
not that.
- 35:57
>> No, I don't think it is, but it is
- 35:59
You're right. It's always like, you
- 36:01
don't want to be like, "It's going to be
- 36:03
>> I mean,
- 36:04
great. No, somethings are really
- 36:07
horrible right now.
- 36:08
>> Y'all it's bad.
- 36:10
>> Yeah, but I also don't want to bury my
- 36:13
head in the sand because I think it's
- 36:15
really important to to stay open-hearted
- 36:19
and to ask myself, "What am I willing to
- 36:21
do?" Cuz that's changed also. Like I
- 36:24
think every day each person and every
- 36:27
day there's a different level of what we
- 36:30
can give. So I I keep trying to ask
- 36:31
myself like what am what am I able to do
- 36:34
today? And some days it's like march for
- 36:36
6 hours for no kings with my entire
- 36:39
family and make seven posters and do it
- 36:41
all. And some days it's like I want to
- 36:43
donate $5 to a community organization.
- 36:46
You know, like there's different
- 36:48
but to not do nothing. To really like
- 36:53
ask of myself to to not do nothing cuz
- 36:55
we can all be doing something whether
- 36:57
and you know that thing with time,
- 36:58
treasure, or talent. Like no matter who
- 37:00
you are you have something you can give
- 37:02
and it can change over time but
- 37:04
I think we all have to be leaning into
- 37:06
solution.
- 37:08
Like in little ways even.
- 37:10
>> The other thing I just want to commend
- 37:11
you on is and it's and definitely from a
- 37:13
um
- 37:14
social media perspective is you also
- 37:16
make things seem fun. Oh, and I know
- 37:18
that that's the that word fun can feel
- 37:20
like I don't know, not
- 37:23
weighted enough but it isn't important.
- 37:27
Because when you ask people for their
- 37:29
time, their energy
- 37:31
it's really hard. I mean people have
- 37:33
really complicated lives.
- 37:34
>> Yeah. And when you ask them to join in
- 37:36
to something, if it looks like it's a
- 37:38
drag a drag they're just yeah. If it
- 37:41
looks like it's a drag they're like I'm
- 37:42
already pretty sad.
- 37:44
>> Yes. Yes.
- 37:46
You know, like
- 37:47
Like I got to take care of my family and
- 37:48
like I hope those other sad people are
- 37:50
also hanging on but I'm sad too.
- 37:53
>> Yeah. But there's something about the
- 37:54
way I find in in how you talk about
- 37:57
things and and and and like thinking
- 37:59
about Tony showing up for things is a
- 38:00
good example of that. Your instinct to
- 38:02
want to make it interesting for the just
- 38:05
this idea of like how can I involve
- 38:08
people is it's it's not an easy thing to
- 38:11
do. So I would say two things about
- 38:13
that. One is that I learned from two
- 38:16
extraordinary women, Eve Ensler who
- 38:18
wrote The Vagina Monologues and Jane
- 38:21
Fonda. And I used to be on a board, like
- 38:24
the the board, the V board we called it
- 38:26
for the Vagina Monologues. And which was
- 38:29
went from being a play to being a global
- 38:30
movement to end violence against women.
- 38:33
And those two women really throughout my
- 38:35
life have taught me that when you're
- 38:37
feeling isolated, alone, and afraid, if
- 38:39
you plug into community and community
- 38:41
activism in particular, but when you
- 38:43
plug into community into like baking
- 38:45
bread for somebody else or making
- 38:47
cookies or driving somebody else's kid
- 38:48
to school or just checking on a
- 38:49
girlfriend who you haven't heard from in
- 38:51
a long time. Like plugging into
- 38:52
community actually helps you feel
- 38:54
better. Like it it being a part of
- 38:57
something bigger than you actually is
- 38:59
like a balm for your soul.
- 39:09
Tony talked also again about like your
- 39:12
incredible mothering. One of his
- 39:14
questions was Oh, he had a question? I'm
- 39:17
not taking questions.
- 39:22
So, you've directed
- 39:26
THAT IS BY THE WAY
- 39:29
you shouldn't take a question.
- 39:31
Don't take a just be like I'd rather not
- 39:32
answer.
- 39:34
I remember doing one of our first it was
- 39:36
like our first all cast appearance on
- 39:38
Good Morning America with the Scandal
- 39:39
cast and none of them had done a lot of
- 39:41
press before.
- 39:42
And I had done all these movies and so I
- 39:44
was like you guys here's the number one
- 39:46
thing to remember cuz they came into the
- 39:47
green room and they were like something
- 39:49
was going on with Angelina Jolie and
- 39:51
Brad Pitt or something and they came in
- 39:52
the green room and they were like do you
- 39:54
do you mind if we ask you and I said
- 39:55
we'd rather not talk about that. And the
- 39:57
whole cast was like whoa. So I said you
- 39:59
guys no matter what anybody asks you
- 40:01
just say what you want to say. Always
- 40:03
say that to people.
- 40:05
Answer whatever question you want. If
- 40:07
someone says
- 40:08
If someone says you've had a you know
- 40:10
there's difficult things going on at
- 40:11
home you can go I mean I think at the
- 40:13
end of the day what's important about us
- 40:15
as a community
- 40:16
>> There you go.
- 40:17
That's it.
- 40:18
That's it.
- 40:19
That's right. It's your interview.
- 40:21
>> forgets what they even asked if you're
- 40:23
good enough. You know why? They don't
- 40:25
know to come back. They don't know. They
- 40:26
don't know how to get back to the
- 40:27
tangent. They don't know how to get back
- 40:29
in there. And if they come back with
- 40:30
like, "But what I asked about?" Then
- 40:32
you're like,
- 40:32
>> Oh, I think we're out of time.
- 40:34
>> "I can't I It's weird. I CAN'T HEAR
- 40:36
YOU."
- 40:40
SPEAKING OF THERAPY, MY THERAPIST USED
- 40:42
TO SAY something that was always like
- 40:44
make me laugh is when someone asked her
- 40:45
an inappropriate like we're talking not
- 40:47
like
- 40:48
reporters, but let's say like a friend
- 40:50
or a colleague who asked something
- 40:51
inappropriate. And if you want to stall
- 40:54
for time, cuz you know like our instinct
- 40:55
is to like react, you can go, "What an
- 40:57
interesting question."
- 40:59
>> the time. I love that.
- 41:00
>> it all the time.
- 41:01
>> "I'm so curious why you asked that."
- 41:03
>> time. That is Or you just like, "That's
- 41:06
a great question."
- 41:08
>> What a good What a great question.
- 41:10
>> wonder what made you ask that question."
- 41:13
>> Yeah. Can you tell Can you unpack that
- 41:15
for me a little bit more?
- 41:16
>> Where did that come from?
- 41:18
>> Where did that question come from? And
- 41:20
then they go,
- 41:27
Okay, what was Tony's question?
- 41:29
>> Okay, his question was um your intense
- 41:32
inner drive when it comes to
- 41:34
you have this inner inner drive which he
- 41:36
really respects. When it comes to being
- 41:38
a mom,
- 41:39
>> Oh. is it something you like want to
- 41:41
instill in your children? Oh.
- 41:44
>> Like and and it's kind of what we talked
- 41:45
about like like how do you push or do
- 41:48
you push? How do you figure out like you
- 41:50
have a very strong work ethic.
- 41:52
>> I do. I'm like a longshoreman of acting.
- 41:56
I mean and I promise we will cut this
- 41:58
part and not keep it in, but have you
- 41:59
ever done the Enneagram test?
- 42:02
You can keep it in. I've done it. I
- 42:03
don't remember. I don't remember what it
- 42:06
is.
- 42:06
>> Enneagram three to me. Achiever achiever
- 42:08
achiever.
- 42:09
>> Oh, interesting.
- 42:09
>> But anyway, I feel like Reese is I feel
- 42:11
like she told me she's a three. Oh,
- 42:13
she's a big time. I would say. Whatever
- 42:15
I am, I remember I told Rashida and
- 42:17
Rashida was like, "Oh, I don't like
- 42:18
those." And I was like, "But we're
- 42:19
friends."
- 42:21
And then it like changed her mind.
- 42:23
>> seven wing six thing for Rashida to say.
- 42:26
Oh, see. I love this about you. I didn't
- 42:29
know that you had this.
- 42:31
>> Do you Now, are you an astrology person
- 42:33
also or just an anyogram?
- 42:35
>> nonsense. NO, I'M KIDDING.
- 42:39
I MEAN, TOTAL [ __ ]
- 42:41
>> YEAH, YEAH.
- 42:43
NUMEROLOGY.
- 42:46
YEAH, ANYOGRAM.
- 42:47
>> he was he was wondering if like your
- 42:48
drive, like how do you Do you Do you try
- 42:51
to instill that
- 42:52
in your kids? You want to lead by
- 42:54
example. Like how do you Cuz I think
- 42:57
what what's underneath that and what I
- 42:59
think is interesting is is what I when I
- 43:01
started with is that you can do many
- 43:02
things well and you work really hard.
- 43:05
How do you instill that in your
- 43:06
children? I do I I think about this
- 43:09
because I feel like they don't have that
- 43:12
thing of being from the Bronx. Right.
- 43:14
>> They don't have that scrappy hustler. At
- 43:17
least they weren't born in the
- 43:19
neighborhood that I think produced it in
- 43:21
me.
- 43:22
And so I wonder where they'll find it.
- 43:25
>> Yeah. I I see I my I My kids are really
- 43:28
resilient and I see it mostly in sports.
- 43:31
That's like their opportunity, their
- 43:33
their place where that gets So, what
- 43:35
kind of sports mom are you? Do you go to
- 43:37
the games?
- 43:38
>> I go to the games.
- 43:39
>> And do you do you cheer?
- 43:40
>> I do and much to the dismay of my
- 43:43
children cuz I'm like a loud cheerer.
- 43:45
>> Are you a after the game, let's say they
- 43:48
have a game and it doesn't go well. What
- 43:49
do you say to them?
- 43:52
There's no wrong answer here.
- 43:54
Really?
- 43:55
>> I mean, unless you like berate them,
- 43:56
which I know you wouldn't, but
- 43:59
Um
- 44:00
Uh How do you
- 44:02
How do you like to approach I really try
- 44:05
to be directed by them. Mhm. Like I try
- 44:07
>> figure out how they're feeling about it.
- 44:10
>> Yeah. And um and ask a lot of questions.
- 44:13
I don't try to like
- 44:15
make it better immediately. I try to
- 44:18
just like Yeah.
- 44:19
>> If I If there was a visual metaphor for
- 44:21
it, I try to like sit on the bench with
- 44:23
them. Oh, that's great.
- 44:24
>> look where they're looking, just give it
- 44:26
some time. It's funny that you do that.
- 44:28
I find that there's a lot of good
- 44:29
conversations when people are looking
- 44:31
forward in the car.
- 44:32
>> With kids especially. Walks in the car.
- 44:35
That like thing of like, "I'm just going
- 44:36
to be here. Like, let me know. Like, was
- 44:39
that hard? Do you feel good?"
- 44:41
>> Mhm. Yeah.
- 44:42
I heard a really cool thing one time.
- 44:44
Again, probably just read it on
- 44:45
Instagram.
- 44:47
Definitely didn't read it in a book.
- 44:48
Definitely didn't read it in a book.
- 44:51
Heard it on a commercial on YouTube.
- 44:53
>> lately, I've been like, "Where did you
- 44:54
get that?" And she's like, "Well, not to
- 44:56
sound like you, but I read it in an
- 44:58
article."
- 45:01
I'M LIKE, "WHAT ARTICLE? LIKE, Time for
- 45:03
Kids?" She's like, "An article."
- 45:06
But,
- 45:07
I I read something one or again, saw
- 45:10
something one time that was like
- 45:13
act like I loved this um metaphor. Act
- 45:16
like a a a small-town reporter with your
- 45:19
kids. So, um just repeat back to them
- 45:23
what they just said as if you're writing
- 45:25
it down in a small notebook. It will
- 45:27
feel so hard.
- 45:29
>> Yes. And
- 45:31
they it was like the less questions you
- 45:34
can ask the better. So, they're like,
- 45:35
"That was a bad game. That was a bad
- 45:37
game.
- 45:39
I sucked. I didn't play well. You didn't
- 45:40
play well." Mhm.
- 45:42
>> Like, you don't say why
- 45:44
the questions can sometimes kind of stop
- 45:46
the the because all you want them to do
- 45:48
is talk.
- 45:49
>> Yes.
- 45:49
>> Oh, that's so good.
- 45:52
>> if you want, you can kind of like
- 45:54
give them a headline back. Like, "So, it
- 45:56
was a bad game and you didn't play
- 45:57
well."
- 45:58
Oh, wow. And they're just like, "Yeah."
- 46:00
And then pause. "Because the coach said
- 46:02
whatever, because the coach said what
- 46:03
like Because that's all all of we we
- 46:06
just want to be witnessed. Like as human
- 46:08
beings, we just want to be witnessed and
- 46:10
heard. And that's such good like, I hear
- 46:12
you, I see you, I'm going to give it
- 46:14
back to you. Like that's
- 46:15
>> Yeah.
- 46:16
>> good. Isn't that a good way to think
- 46:17
about it?
- 46:17
>> good.
- 46:18
>> And as opposed to what my instinct
- 46:19
sometimes is to do is like, well, you
- 46:20
know what I would do.
- 46:23
You know what I think you should say.
- 46:25
>> Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
- 46:27
>> Yeah. Yeah. And I always ruin it at the
- 46:28
end.
- 46:28
>> Yeah. You've directed a lot. You love
- 46:31
directing. I don't know. I haven't
- 46:32
directed as much as I would like to, so
- 46:35
I need to do more.
- 46:36
>> Mhm. I'm saying that here.
- 46:37
>> And you walk in kind of you walk you've
- 46:39
you've you've walked in other people's
- 46:41
shows. Like you've walked in and you did
- 46:44
Smilf, you did Insecure.
- 46:47
I love directing. What's it What's it
- 46:49
like to walk into a show that's already
- 46:50
running? It's so fun. I mean, I
- 46:53
especially if I love the show and I love
- 46:55
the creatives and I just
- 46:58
I I think the thing I love about
- 47:00
directing is that thing I was talking
- 47:01
about with acting. Like I love to help
- 47:03
other I love to help create an
- 47:05
environment where other people can do
- 47:06
their best work.
- 47:07
>> Mhm. And to help push people toward
- 47:09
excellence, to like unlock the things
- 47:11
that are going to make other people
- 47:12
better, whether it's set design or
- 47:15
acting or a score, like just getting
- 47:17
into a situation to help other people do
- 47:20
what they do best.
- 47:21
>> Yeah. I love that. Yes.
- 47:25
>> I love it. Yeah, and do you think you
- 47:27
want to I mean, have you directed a
- 47:29
feature?
- 47:29
>> I haven't. So, that should be next,
- 47:32
yeah?
- 47:32
>> I think so. I think so.
- 47:35
>> lot of It's a lot of It's a lot of time
- 47:36
away from your family. So, I'm like I
- 47:38
this I was like
- 47:39
So, I did this movie with Ben Affleck
- 47:40
this year and he was like, you need to
- 47:42
find a feature to direct. And I was
- 47:43
like, I have to find a feature that I
- 47:44
like enough to spend that much time away
- 47:47
from my amazing husband and children.
- 47:49
Have you ever heard Sarah Polley talk
- 47:51
about any of this stuff? The amazing
- 47:53
director. She talks a lot about me, too.
- 47:55
And when she did Women Talking, which I
- 47:57
thought was amazing,
- 47:58
>> Mhm.
- 47:58
she talked a lot about how, you know,
- 48:01
there's this you know, we talk obviously
- 48:03
we're always trying to like write the um
- 48:07
the imbalance of not enough female
- 48:09
directors and there's not enough
- 48:10
discussion about the fact that like
- 48:12
women and with kids it's very you have
- 48:14
to give up a lot of time
- 48:16
>> Mhm. and that she was like
- 48:19
hoping and kind of working towards this
- 48:21
idea that you could have these humane
- 48:23
ways of working
- 48:24
>> Mhm.
- 48:25
where more women could direct and she
- 48:26
talked about What that would look like.
- 48:28
Yeah, that she had women on her crew be
- 48:31
able to kind of like what Shonda did
- 48:33
like bring kids to work, try to keep
- 48:36
hours shorter, try to keep prep more
- 48:39
remote, whatever it was so that more
- 48:42
women were incentivized cuz it is like
- 48:44
it's like
- 48:45
it's really really hard to be a woman.
- 48:47
>> choice.
- 48:48
>> Yeah. I So on this film with Ben, he
- 48:51
likes to be home with his kids at for
- 48:53
dinner. And so we were done filming
- 48:56
every single day by 6:37. It meant I was
- 48:59
out before drop off, but I was home for
- 49:01
dinner and bedtime and homework to the
- 49:03
point where my son was like Mom, is your
- 49:07
part not big? Like why are you
- 49:09
You're Like he was worried for my
- 49:11
career. Like why are you home every
- 49:13
night for dinner? Did you get fired? Are
- 49:16
you like pretending to act during the
- 49:18
day?
- 49:19
You're putting on an outfit and sitting
- 49:21
in your car. He was like
- 49:23
Mom
- 49:23
>> He's like be honest. Be honest.
- 49:28
I was like, "No, I have a really big
- 49:29
part." He was like,
- 49:32
Mom, it's okay. It's okay. There are no
- 49:34
small parts, Mom.
- 49:38
But that's so humane.
- 49:39
>> And so we So on Imperfect Women,
- 49:41
it was this extraordinary experience of
- 49:44
all three leads were all moms.
- 49:46
>> Let's talk about this. Who's in the
- 49:47
Imperfect Women with you?
- 49:48
>> Moss and Kate Mara and myself. Um I
- 49:51
mean, our most of our directors are
- 49:54
moms, all of our producer I mean we it
- 49:57
was such a family friendly set and it
- 50:00
was great because the show is really
- 50:02
told from three points of view. So
- 50:04
basically for like a third of the show I
- 50:07
was number one on the call sheet, a
- 50:08
third of the show Kate Mara was number
- 50:09
one on the call sheet and a third of the
- 50:10
show Lizzy was number one on the call
- 50:12
sheet. So we got to all like star in a
- 50:15
show but we all had lots of time to like
- 50:18
do other things. Like in Lizzy's
- 50:20
episodes I'm sort of a glorified extra.
- 50:22
I'm like number six even though I'm not
- 50:24
but it feels like I'm
- 50:27
one of the ensemble and so it was a
- 50:29
really wonderful way to share the load
- 50:32
of the pressure of what it takes to lead
- 50:34
a limited series because we were we
- 50:36
really shared that responsibility.
- 50:38
>> That's really cool.
- 50:40
>> So fun and also it's really great cuz
- 50:42
you got to flex. Like everybody got to
- 50:44
do really meaty I mean these women Kate
- 50:47
Mara and Lizzy Moss are they're they're
- 50:48
beasts of acting. Just extraordinary
- 50:51
talent.
- 50:52
>> I mean I've just
- 50:53
I we re-watched the Mad Men recently.
- 50:58
So good. Good lord. So good.
- 51:00
>> Elizabeth Moss is she's extraordinary.
- 51:02
She's a treasure. She is an incredible
- 51:05
actor.
- 51:05
>> another amazing director. She's an
- 51:07
incredible director.
- 51:09
>> I am not surprised. You like me you've
- 51:11
been in the business a long time and
- 51:13
you've seen it and you've seen it change
- 51:15
and like and expand and grow and the way
- 51:18
things
- 51:18
>> that that I just did? You said things
- 51:21
A long time. A long time baby. Okay.
- 51:24
Remember did you ever smoke cigarettes?
- 51:26
So That's a yes. Casually. Week I was
- 51:29
like a weekend smoker. I was a weekend
- 51:31
smoker for a really long time. No never
- 51:32
bought cigarettes.
- 51:33
>> Well back in the day.
- 51:35
>> for like a boy I really liked and we
- 51:36
shared them. But I wasn't like a real
- 51:38
and then always it was because I would
- 51:40
start smoking because of a character and
- 51:42
then get you know I was like kind of
- 51:44
method with the smoking. Nothing else
- 51:46
just the smoking.
- 51:47
>> Yeah, no. Do you have any like vices
- 51:49
right now that you try to get rid of?
- 51:52
Anything?
- 51:53
>> I Honestly, so this question like I
- 51:55
don't like the guilty pleasure question
- 51:57
cuz I feel like if I'm not killing
- 51:59
anybody, then I don't want to feel
- 52:00
guilty about my pleasure.
- 52:01
>> That's right.
- 52:02
>> My pleasure is like pleasure is good.
- 52:04
>> What What about your hobbies? Like do
- 52:05
you like fake food?
- 52:08
No, but this I know came from that
- 52:10
cookbook. I know Ina Garten. And there's
- 52:13
three
- 52:13
>> Should I have brought you fake food?
- 52:15
>> Not at all, but I just realized
- 52:17
something today and not to put you on
- 52:18
the spot. It's not a psychological test
- 52:20
and your your therapist Julie? Well, no.
- 52:25
Won't mind, but you've got three
- 52:28
different types of burgers there
- 52:31
and I would love to know which one you'd
- 52:32
like to pick. And for people that are
- 52:34
listening,
- 52:36
we've got a candle cheeseburger, we've
- 52:38
got a wooden cheeseburger and we've got
- 52:40
a squishy.
- 52:42
That's satisfying.
- 52:43
>> for the squish. You know who else went
- 52:45
for the squish? MICHELLE OBAMA.
- 52:50
I MEAN, WATER SEEKS ITS OWN LEVEL.
- 52:53
This is so satisfying.
- 52:56
>> Yeah. Excuse me, I'm going to have a
- 52:57
moment.
- 52:58
>> Yeah. ASMR.
- 52:59
>> And I'm not going to feel guilty cuz
- 53:00
it's pleasurable.
- 53:02
>> Yeah. Do you enjoy Do you have any like
- 53:04
>> dark chocolate.
- 53:06
I'm a big dark chocolate girl.
- 53:07
>> And are you a
- 53:08
Are you like an Is there any kind of
- 53:10
knitting hobby situation? I really like
- 53:12
kintsugi. Excuse me?
- 53:15
I did not sneeze. Hold on.
- 53:17
You want to Google it?
- 53:18
>> Mhm.
- 53:20
While While you tell me what it is.
- 53:22
>> is the Japanese art of putting broken
- 53:25
pottery back together again
- 53:28
with gold. Oh, wow.
- 53:31
>> It's so beautiful.
- 53:32
>> Oh, wow. That looks so
- 53:33
>> are so beautiful. And so, I had read
- 53:35
about it a long time ago.
- 53:37
And then, I had this beautiful pottery
- 53:39
that my mom and dad bought for Namdi and
- 53:41
I for our 10-year anniversary. It had
- 53:43
like a Bible verse on the edge. It was
- 53:44
handmade. It was beautiful.
- 53:46
And my kids were playing ball in the
- 53:47
house and they broke it. And they I was
- 53:51
I was able somehow miraculously to
- 53:53
regulate my nervous system in the moment
- 53:54
and not yell. I was like, "Oh."
- 53:57
And they were devastated. My son was
- 53:59
like crying and and I remembered
- 54:01
Kintsugi and I was like, "I'm going to
- 54:02
put this back together." And so I found
- 54:04
this private teacher. This was last year
- 54:06
on my birthday and I went and brought
- 54:08
her these pieces and we
- 54:11
put this bowl back together. And the art
- 54:14
the philosophy of this art is that by
- 54:18
not making the cracks disappear, but by
- 54:20
highlighting them with gold, you
- 54:23
actually bring beauty to the broken
- 54:25
spaces and you honor that the places
- 54:28
where we are wounded and broken are what
- 54:29
make us most beautiful.
- 54:31
It's just so special. So it's very like
- 54:34
meditative and beautiful and so now my
- 54:36
friends give me their broken plates and
- 54:37
bowls and things. But yeah, I I really
- 54:40
enjoyed that.
- 54:42
>> By the way, what a nice thing for your
- 54:44
kids to also see too. Like we make
- 54:45
mistakes. It's okay. We're all human.
- 54:47
>> actually what they say to people when
- 54:49
they ask about it is they're like, "So
- 54:50
now we're part of the bowl, too." Cuz
- 54:51
it's like it's our anniversary bowl.
- 54:53
They Of course they had to be a part of
- 54:54
it.
- 54:55
>> Oh, that's so nice. And I honestly it
- 54:57
reminds me of your memoir. It reminds me
- 55:01
of Thicker Than Water, which was
- 55:03
amazing.
- 55:04
>> this is that was very artful what you
- 55:06
just did there. That was super.
- 55:08
Kintsugi Kintsugi Woo. Um
- 55:11
but it does because it reminds me of
- 55:14
what you spoke about spoke about and you
- 55:15
spoke about it you you you you've you've
- 55:17
spoken about your experience recently
- 55:20
learning more about your family
- 55:22
>> Yeah.
- 55:22
and learning
- 55:24
um and you wrote beautifully about it
- 55:26
about um
- 55:27
in an attempt to kind of find your roots
- 55:29
your your family kind of
- 55:31
informed you like, "Hey, the way um
- 55:34
maybe you you this family um was came to
- 55:37
came to be was a little different.
- 55:39
You've been lied to for four decades.
- 55:42
>> And that you were born with artificial
- 55:44
insemination and that but from a donor
- 55:46
from a sperm donor and you spoke so
- 55:48
beautifully about it and honestly about
- 55:49
it. And I guess my question to you is
- 55:51
now with some time you've kind of
- 55:54
the book's out, you've spoken about it.
- 55:55
How do you like to talk about it now? I
- 55:58
really enjoy talking about it because
- 56:01
it's been such a
- 56:04
healing journey for my family. Like
- 56:06
we're in such a better place than we
- 56:08
used to be and we were we kind of had a
- 56:11
picture-perfect-esque
- 56:12
for for a working-class family from the
- 56:14
Bronx. We were like as perfect as it
- 56:15
gets.
- 56:16
Um or so we performed to be. And now
- 56:20
there's like a real genuine closeness
- 56:24
and authenticity and truth between us um
- 56:28
that's so special. I'm I'm just so so
- 56:31
grateful. So I really like talking about
- 56:34
it. There's just My mom said this thing
- 56:35
we were being interviewed I think by
- 56:36
Robin Roberts and
- 56:38
my mom said you know we're just not as
- 56:40
afraid to hurt each other as we used to
- 56:43
be. And that's huge. That's safety in
- 56:46
relationship, that trust that like
- 56:48
things are hard but you'll get through
- 56:50
it. I don't know there's just like so
- 56:52
much allowing now in our family and
- 56:55
grace. So much more truth and grace than
- 56:58
there used to be. It's just such a gift
- 57:00
my parents gave me by
- 57:01
telling me this truth about who I am and
- 57:03
who we are. Yeah, it's so awesome. Well,
- 57:06
from what I know about you is you love
- 57:08
to laugh. I do.
- 57:09
>> You do. I really do.
- 57:11
>> What is making you laugh these days?
- 57:13
What is like a way where you practice
- 57:16
tuning out or enjoying yourself or like
- 57:19
who what do you watch, read? Is it a Is
- 57:22
it You have something. Well, I love
- 57:25
this podcast. Does everybody say that?
- 57:28
No, no, not enough. This podcast is
- 57:30
amazing.
- 57:32
Um
- 57:33
>> Carrie, thank you.
- 57:34
>> The big thing is my kids. Yes.
- 57:37
>> Really, because now they're people. So,
- 57:40
they're I have one that's 20, my bonus
- 57:42
baby's 20, and then an 11, and a 9.
- 57:45
>> Mhm.
- 57:45
And they're like now they have their own
- 57:48
wit. Yeah.
- 57:49
>> And it's sharp. Yeah.
- 57:52
>> that. Like I actually this is So, I want
- 57:54
to be really clear.
- 57:56
I love when my kids get a good burn on
- 57:59
me. Yeah.
- 58:00
>> But it's different. I'm not saying that
- 58:02
I want my kids to be disrespectful. Like
- 58:04
there's a different thing about like
- 58:05
like I see some of these other
- 58:06
households that my kids hang out in
- 58:08
sometimes where there's no discipline or
- 58:10
respect in the house. Like that does not
- 58:12
fly in my home.
- 58:13
>> Mhm. It's really important. But like a
- 58:14
good well-timed comedic burn, it just
- 58:18
makes me love them more. Well, because
- 58:20
maybe teasing is a little bit of a love
- 58:22
language for you.
- 58:23
>> I think so.
- 58:25
>> Because I I share that. Like a a
- 58:26
well-placed
- 58:28
tease that is well-observed
- 58:32
is a sign of intelligence, that your
- 58:34
kids are paying attention to you.
- 58:35
>> They see you.
- 58:36
>> That they know you can take a joke,
- 58:38
which is important.
- 58:39
>> with me. They see me.
- 58:41
>> Yes. They feel comfortable like flexing
- 58:44
their own mental prowess. I just love
- 58:47
that.
- 58:47
>> Yes, and they're trying to figure out
- 58:49
what goes too far, and they're supposed
- 58:51
to practice with you.
- 58:52
>> Yeah. They are. Yeah. So, I love that.
- 58:54
And I love also that it humbles me. You
- 58:56
know, I love that. Like it's they're so
- 58:58
not impressed with me, which I love.
- 59:01
>> Have you guys started watching any stuff
- 59:02
any comedy together? Cuz that is the age
- 59:05
around 8 and 11 where you start being
- 59:07
like oh, we can start sharing comedy
- 59:09
shows.
- 59:10
>> The number one show that we obsess over
- 59:12
as a family, even so we go back and
- 59:14
watch old episodes cuz it doesn't come
- 59:15
on enough, is Amazing Race.
- 59:18
Let's talk about Amazing Race.
- 59:19
>> We It's not talked about enough. love
- 59:22
Amazing Race.
- 59:23
>> on?
- 59:23
>> It's still on. And they're still racing.
- 59:26
They're still Phil. He's still traveling
- 59:28
the world. I I've never met him. I if I
- 59:31
ever meet him, I'm going to pass out.
- 59:34
He's amazing. And so what he's amazing.
- 59:37
He's amazing and he races. Um the thing
- 59:39
I love about watching it with our kids
- 59:41
is so there's all this kind of learning
- 59:42
going on. First of all, we're learning
- 59:43
geography. Right. We're learning
- 59:45
culture. We're learning languages, dance
- 59:47
around the world, food around the world,
- 59:49
music around the world,
- 59:51
uh landmarks in important places. So
- 59:53
there's that. You're also learning like
- 59:55
just travel resilience cuz we're a big
- 59:57
travel family. So they're learning like
- 59:59
sometimes the hotel is closed. Sometimes
- 1:00:01
you miss the train. Like they're
- 1:00:03
learning that kind of stuff.
- 1:00:05
But the biggest thing are these
- 1:00:07
relational dynamics. Cuz I love when my
- 1:00:09
son turns to me and he's like he is not
- 1:00:11
a good husband. Right? Like you see
- 1:00:13
these teams where you're like, why is he
- 1:00:15
talking to her like that? Or like two
- 1:00:16
siblings where you're like, they do not
- 1:00:18
really get along. Or two sisters where
- 1:00:21
you're like, I love their relationship.
- 1:00:22
Like that it's so they're really
- 1:00:25
learning about what makes a good team,
- 1:00:27
what partnership looks like, what
- 1:00:29
respect what it's so so we love him and
- 1:00:31
we laugh a lot in Amazing Race cuz
- 1:00:33
inevitably in the first couple of
- 1:00:35
episodes there's always the people that
- 1:00:37
are like, they have no business being on
- 1:00:38
the Amazing
- 1:00:39
Those people have no And you're like,
- 1:00:42
they're never going to make it. No, but
- 1:00:44
they're having a good time and we have a
- 1:00:45
good time with them.
- 1:00:47
Okay, do you think when you watch
- 1:00:48
Amazing Race, do you think you would do
- 1:00:50
well on it? It was So here's one of the
- 1:00:52
really sweet things and I I don't talk
- 1:00:54
about my relationship often I love Nandy
- 1:00:57
But he
- 1:00:58
it's the first show we watched together.
- 1:00:59
Like even when we were dating, we were
- 1:01:01
watching Amazing Race.
- 1:01:02
We would crush Amazing. We would. He has
- 1:01:06
all of the physical prowess There's so
- 1:01:08
many retired athletes on there. But he
- 1:01:10
has the athlete thing and he's so smart
- 1:01:14
and funny and you have the drive. Yes.
- 1:01:17
You have you'd be like you'd be the one.
- 1:01:19
>> scrappy. I've got the Bronx. I'd be in
- 1:01:21
the Bronx. It's me wherever I go.
- 1:01:23
Um my mother's like, "Why do you make
- 1:01:25
everything the Bronx?" Whenever I'm
- 1:01:26
like, "COME ON, BABY!"
- 1:01:28
SHE'S LIKE, "THIS IS NOT WELL, but do
- 1:01:31
you watch it and think I would do well?
- 1:01:32
The only thing I know I would not do
- 1:01:34
well on
- 1:01:35
>> is
- 1:01:36
the running.
- 1:01:37
>> Oh, the run what? It's a race. What are
- 1:01:38
we talking about? You have to run. What
- 1:01:41
do you mean? The There is always an I
- 1:01:44
mean, I I run okay. Sometimes it's a
- 1:01:46
foot race. It's two races. Sometimes
- 1:01:48
it's two teams. You can be so great and
- 1:01:51
then at the end you just have to run
- 1:01:52
with your bag to the next thing. That's
- 1:01:54
not nice.
- 1:01:55
>> I would kill.
- 1:01:57
>> You would? Are you a good runner?
- 1:01:58
>> No, but I would make myself a good
- 1:01:59
runner.
- 1:02:00
>> See, this is our difference. I I think I
- 1:02:02
would struggle with
- 1:02:04
um the driving. Oh, I could do that
- 1:02:07
well.
- 1:02:08
>> Yeah?
- 1:02:08
>> We would be a good team.
- 1:02:09
>> Okay. Because I would be like at the end
- 1:02:11
when they'd be like, "Run to the thing."
- 1:02:12
I'd be like, "You got this, Carrie."
- 1:02:14
>> yeah. And I would go. And in the car,
- 1:02:16
I'd be like, "Go for it." I get nervous
- 1:02:18
on the highway. I'm one of those people
- 1:02:19
who like as you approach the moment
- 1:02:21
where it splits, I'm like, "I DON'T
- 1:02:22
KNOW. GPS, BE MORE CLEAR." I GET really
- 1:02:25
mad.
- 1:02:26
>> I could lock in on the driving. But the
- 1:02:28
running, I know I would try as fast as I
- 1:02:30
could. I would try as hard as I could
- 1:02:32
and I would just get so far behind.
- 1:02:35
>> We always make the mistake of falling in
- 1:02:37
love with a team that's like a
- 1:02:38
father-daughter or a mother-son and they
- 1:02:40
do so well and they're so smart and
- 1:02:42
they're so on it and then there's a foot
- 1:02:43
race and you're like,
- 1:02:44
>> running. It takes them down.
- 1:02:46
>> They're not going to win. They're not
- 1:02:49
going to win.
- 1:02:50
>> And that is why I don't think it's fair.
- 1:02:52
There's too much running in that show
- 1:02:54
about racing. But also anything can like
- 1:02:57
the thing the great that we're not going
- 1:02:58
to talk about this forever, but the
- 1:03:00
thing that's so magical about The
- 1:03:01
Amazing Race and the other thing that my
- 1:03:03
kids really are absorbing is anything's
- 1:03:05
possible. True. The final challenge can
- 1:03:08
be all mental. And you think you're the
- 1:03:10
team who's got it, but if you can't
- 1:03:12
figure out how to make that special
- 1:03:15
Portuguese sausage the way it and did it
- 1:03:17
then you're done. And to the point about
- 1:03:20
teamwork
- 1:03:22
when people are at their lowest point,
- 1:03:24
when they're very very stressed, their
- 1:03:26
real their real personality comes out.
- 1:03:29
>> It's so true. So when someone is kind
- 1:03:31
>> Yes. and when they're kind to each other
- 1:03:33
at their lowest moment, then you know
- 1:03:34
they're going to be okay.
- 1:03:35
>> Yes, you we always because we watch old
- 1:03:38
episodes and we so Google like are they
- 1:03:39
still together? Do you think they're
- 1:03:41
married still? Did they ever get
- 1:03:42
married? We're so we're like super
- 1:03:46
All right.
- 1:03:47
I'm going to tell Nani that you said
- 1:03:48
that. Well I but no, I can't we can't
- 1:03:51
and like compete with all the Big
- 1:03:52
Brother people. Remember Battle of the
- 1:03:54
Network Stars? I do remember that.
- 1:03:57
>> young for that but there was
- 1:03:58
>> I do have a memory of that. There was an
- 1:04:00
amazing moment in TV where all of the
- 1:04:03
stars in TV had to put on really short
- 1:04:06
shorts and do like Olympic events and
- 1:04:10
just do track and field events and be
- 1:04:12
any it was the most famous people in TV.
- 1:04:15
>> And they all did it. And they all did I
- 1:04:17
mean I don't even know if I would
- 1:04:19
>> I would do it
- 1:04:21
>> say all but the running.
- 1:04:22
>> I would do all but the running.
- 1:04:23
And I wouldn't do very well in any of
- 1:04:25
the events but I would have I
- 1:04:27
I'd be a good like mouth. I'd be like
- 1:04:30
I'd be I'd be able to trash talk. Go oh
- 1:04:33
yes, that's important.
- 1:04:34
>> that was important in Battle of the
- 1:04:35
Network Stars there was a little bit of
- 1:04:37
like haha I'm going to get you kind of
- 1:04:39
thing. But the insurance would never let
- 1:04:42
this happen now.
- 1:04:42
>> That's true, they wouldn't do it now.
- 1:04:44
>> No, you'd be The teams we that I'm proud
- 1:04:47
that my kids don't like cuz I got
- 1:04:48
nervous they would just be focused on
- 1:04:50
the winning but there are like
- 1:04:51
occasionally there are teams who lie
- 1:04:53
about what to do next. They're like they
- 1:04:55
figure out a challenge and then they lie
- 1:04:57
to the next team.
- 1:04:58
>> I know. And those teams
- 1:05:00
>> comes back to bite them.
- 1:05:01
>> That karma.
- 1:05:02
Karma. Yeah. When they take the thing
- 1:05:05
they're like don't show them the clue
- 1:05:06
>> That's right. That's right. And they're
- 1:05:07
like oh yeah the clues are over there
- 1:05:08
and over there and they're like see you
- 1:05:10
in hell. That's right. That's right. See
- 1:05:13
you in Amazing Race
- 1:05:16
>> Yeah.
- 1:05:18
You're the last to arrive.
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I'm sorry to inform you.
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Okay. Thank you so much for doing this.
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This is so fun.
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Thank you so much Carrie. It was so fun
- 1:05:34
talking to you and
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I'm always just impressed by your range
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and ability to do so many things so
- 1:05:41
well. Thanks for being an awesome guest
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and it's just great talking to you and
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and I feel like I want to just plug this
- 1:05:47
YouTube show The Street That You Grew Up
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On
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because you have there's great guests
- 1:05:53
like Michelle Obama and Issa Rae and
- 1:05:56
Sarah Paulson and it's a great idea this
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idea of just figuring out where you grew
- 1:06:01
up and and digging deeper and it feels
- 1:06:03
like Carrie's always trying to do that
- 1:06:05
in her own life and in her characters
- 1:06:06
and so check that out on YouTube and I
- 1:06:10
have heard that you can get YouTube
- 1:06:11
without commercials.
- 1:06:12
If you pay a little extra.
- 1:06:15
Which I'm not willing to do.
- 1:06:17
Um but
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if you if you want to do that that's up
- 1:06:21
to you. So
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thank you so much for joining us Carrie.
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Thanks so much for listening to Good
- 1:06:27
Hang and we'll see you soon. Bye.
- 1:06:30
You've been listening to Good Hang. The
- 1:06:32
executive producers for this show are
- 1:06:34
Bill Simmons, Jenna Weiss-Berman and me
- 1:06:36
Amy Poehler. The show is produced by The
- 1:06:38
Ringer and Paper Kite. For The Ringer
- 1:06:40
production by Jack Wilson, Cats Balane,
- 1:06:42
Kalia McMahon and Alana Zanaris. For
- 1:06:45
Paper Kite production by Sam Green, Joel
- 1:06:48
Lovell and Jenna Weiss-Berman. Original
- 1:06:50
music by Amy Miles. And I had a one who
- 1:06:53
was a really
- 1:06:54
good hang.