Transcript: Kate Berlant on Good Hang with Amy Poehler

Hello everyone and welcome to another

episode of Good Hang. We are very

excited about our guest today. It is

Kaperland comedian writer actress

and if you know Kate's work, you are

obsessed with her. And if you don't know

it that well yet, you are going to

become obsessed because Kate is here and

we are obsessed with her. And we're

going to talk about so many good things

today. We are going to talk about um

well uh chimney sweeps. We're gonna talk

about our obsession with our phone.

We're gonna talk about how men actually

feel about funny women. And we are going

to talk about her new comedy special

Parmesan, which is on HBO out right now

and is so good and I cannot recommend it

enough. Before we get talking to Kate,

we always do something on our show where

we talk to someone who knows our guest,

has a question to give me about our

guest. And we are going to talk to

another fellow hilarious performer,

writer, actor, John Early. You might

know John from Search Party. You might

know John from Maddie Secret and the

many various hilarious videos and

specials that him and Kate have done

together. So, let's see if we can get

John on the phone or the Zoom, however

we're talking to you, John. HI.

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>> John

>> Amy.

>> Oh my god, it worked.

>> Can you see me?

>> You know what I never really noticed?

And I'm noticing right now how blue

those eyes are of yours. Shut up.

>> That's really sweet. Well, they are.

>> You are blue eyes.

>> I'm kind of far back. Or you're kind of

far back. Are you You're blue.

>> I'm blue as well. Yeah.

>> Okay. Well,

>> and I just read somewhere that we should

be wearing sunglasses all the time.

>> No, you're kidding.

>> My

>> Because it's it's where we're more

susceptible to like vision

>> damage. Sun damage. I sund damaged eyes.

>> Wow. I have 2020. No offense.

>> Brag. No, I do not. You still have 2020.

>> I still do somehow.

>> That's incredible.

>> Thank you.

>> I do not. I've got reading. I've got

glasses for reading and it's going

downhill really fast.

>> Kate has reading glasses. You guys could

talk about that.

>> John Early, it is really good to see

you.

>> It's so good to see you. I'm so

starruck.

>> You're nuts. I am

>> John. Right back at you. You know, we

were we were watching we were

re-watching Vicki with a V and Maddie

Secret before we get got on and we were

we were saying like there's certain

people when they um when they portray

female characters that it feels like

aggressive.

>> Yeah. Yeah.

>> Uh and you

>> they're working through something.

>> They're working through something.

>> Well, and I clearly am too, but

>> Well, we all are. It's maybe it's maybe

more um coming from some sort of

childlike longing and not necessarily an

aggression.

>> No, it feels very nice. It feels like it

feels very like it just makes me feel

nice and safe. It doesn't make me feel

weird.

>> Oh my god. Thank god.

>> For people that don't know, you and Kate

have created so many works of art

together.

>> Thank you.

>> And you are like partners, but not

partners. You do your own separate

things always, but when you come

together, there's like this special

language. Like there's a comedy

language, but it always consists of this

very thrilling deep dive into something

like it's always really deep and always

funny.

>> Thank God.

>> When did you first meet Kate? Let's talk

about that origin story. We first met

when I was I guess we were both like 24.

Um which was last year.

>> Um

>> and uh we we met like okay we met

basically doing our mutual friends

comedy show.

>> Mhm. And you know, I I just had never

met someone around my age who uh who was

as funny as like my idols, you know.

>> Yes.

>> It it was so crazy. I always figured,

you know, the people around me were

we're all going to be kind of

collectively trying to get to that

level. We'll spend our whole lives and

we'll always and we'll always fail, you

know, we'll always fall short. But I was

like, she is just like right there.

>> Mhm.

>> She's already there. She's like already

in a Christopher Guest movie, you know,

in my mind.

>> And that night when we were separating,

we were just kind of like we kind of

like

>> said our vows to each other and we were

like we were like, "Let's have us like a

sleepover tomorrow

>> and we just like started our friendship

the next day." We just like knew and and

and I went over to her apartment and we

we just did not separate really until

she moved to LA. We spent like almost

every single day together, every night

together. I would literally run out of

clothes. I would run out of underwear

and from spending the night at her

apartment so much. And I would just go

to CVS and get a pack of Hannes

>> and I'd wear the same shirt and pants

every day and I would just run out of

Hannes and go get a new pack.

>> And Cuz you're like, there's no way I'm

leaving this apartment.

>> I'm not going back to my apartment. I

refuse. And we and Amy, we slept in the

same bed. M

>> and we literally and the room was as big

as the bed her like there was a foot of

space on on uh the on one two sides of

the for it was tucked into a corner you

know and we would just we slept like

angels like that was the first thing we

noticed was like we were like what is

this like otherworldly sense of comfort

we have with each other that we can

share a bed

>> I'm sure you've been asked to explain

this but the stuff that you guys did

together. How would you explain that

type of comedy

>> if you were to have to explain the style

of it? I can try, but I'd like to hear

I'd like to hear what you say.

>> Okay. Um Okay. Yeah, it it is really

hard.

I mean, obviously, one thing that we

love to do is like, you know, passive

aggression.

>> Yes.

>> You know, we we love it so much.

>> Why do you love it so much? Why do you

Why does Kate love it so much? Why do

you love it? I mean, I do too, but what

do we love about it?

>> Well, I think I think I love it cuz I

come from like the South and which is

like a a really,

you know, you could say the the

birthplace of massive oppression.

>> Um, like I come from kind of like

Protestant world where like that is just

in the water. It's just like you don't

you don't express your anger so you ha

it has to come out another way. I think

for Kate, she's a she's been around a

lot of authoritative

>> um artistic people.

>> And I think maybe that's where it comes

from is like people who speak with a

kind of like I mean avantguard authority

or whatever. It's like that there's a

there's a way that that can be

incredibly hostile.

>> Mhm. you know, while even if you're

speaking in this very measured academic

way, you know, you're like and and so

maybe that's where it comes from for

her.

>> Yes. There there's like a way in which

you guys play around and in her new

special she does in Parmesan her new

special she does this where you play

around with superiority.

>> Yeah.

>> Like that's what you you put that coat

on and take it off. And of course the

other side of that is inferiority

always,

>> right? It's like and I think that if we

if we're playing people who and this is

I think actually Kate's specialty is

like this um this like the foolishness

of like authority and um you know yeah

pretentiousness

I hope so

>> the certainty part is so real because

especially like in today's culture like

we're surrounded by experts

>> it's so intense and I and I really I I

think it's time for Kate to kind of like

seize her throne as like the great

imitator of those things. She really can

like what what's so crazy about working

with her is like I mean it's like it's

awful for me because it's like I'm like

across from her. I'm like cool I have

nothing. I'm like I'm just like how do

you I'm always shocked.

>> I'm very sorry but I disagree. I feel

like I'm going to say right here John

that your volley is it is like Agassy

and Sris.

I believe they played together. I hope

they did. But it is that the back and

forth is

>> it is Federer and Nadal.

>> Thank you.

>> Excuse me. Well, you'll notice that I'm

always I'm like always screaming.

>> Yeah. Well, louder is funnier.

>> Well, I think she's also, and I'm sure

you'll get into it minute one, but you

know, she's an only child.

>> Oh, yeah.

>> And so there's like there is such a the

only child has to like entertain

themselves in the mirror, you know?

>> Right. and and and she comes, you know,

artist, father, like, you know, she was

around these very at a very young age. I

mean, she was like under the table, uh,

you know, as like with all these like

kind of very like genius LA modern

artists, abstract artists, probably

having incredibly pretentious,

indecipherable, illeible conversations,

you know, and so I think she literally

learned before she was like even

conscious, she learned how to like

imitate just like absorb those sounds

and like to in order to participate cuz

she was bored. Yes.

>> Okay. Do you have a question for Kate

today? Anything you think I should ask

her?

>> I have a few that you should pick from.

>> Okay, great.

>> Like some of them are just

they're kind of inside jokes.

>> Great. Perfect.

>> But I actually think if you get into

them, they will be deep.

>> Fantastic.

>> They'll be generative. Okay. So, one is,

"Do you miss Paris?"

>> Fantastic. Do you miss Paris? Perfect

question.

One is uh do you think you're funny? Oh,

>> incredible. In Kate's special, she goes

deep on this idea that comedy isn't

funny. And it's incredible

cuz I agree.

>> Yes, it's not funny. And also, this is

like this is something that we we make

ourselves laugh very very hard. We'll

just like if if like suddenly a silence

falls, like there's like a lull in the

conversation, I'll be like, "Do you

think you're funny?"

and like and and then we'll and we'll

try to answer and she'll do it back to

me like, "Do you think you're funny?"

And then and then I'll be like, "Do you

think I'm funny?"

>> And then we're like, "Um, can I be

honest?"

>> It's a favorite It's a favorite inside

joke. But I do think it like it's an

inside joke, but she if you actually ask

her, something good could come out.

Great.

>> Um,

>> one is how are the kids?

>> Perfect questions.

Um, one is related to the special. So,

are you gay or what?

>> Yep. We're going to get into it

hopefully. Kate really talks about how

she's gay.

That's I guess that's the way the

fastest way to put it.

>> Yeah.

>> Yep. Okay. Great. Are you gay or what?

>> Final one is shoes on or off?

>> Shoes on or off.

>> Like as a host.

>> These questions are incredible.

>> And did you get my email about Kate's no

fly zones? No, I'm gonna look along.

>> Okay, got good to know. I'm gonna look

at it right now.

>> Good.

>> Good. Thank you for that. Thank you.

>> She doesn't have a manager and no one

will represent her. So, I've taken it on

as we're doing the special.

>> Thank you for that. Yeah, that's

important to see and thank you for

bolding everything in all caps. I

appreciate that.

>> Okay.

>> Okay. Bye, John. Bye, y'all.

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with code Amy.

>> Get in frame. We cannot talk unless

we're in frame.

>> Keep going. Who's that? Okay. You got to

get in like this. Amy that fast now. Is

there who?

>> We got

We got to get you in frame. We cannot

speak unless we're rolling.

>> Yeah. Don't scroll past. You look

amazing.

There were there were lipsticks in the

green room. Yeah. And I thought I was

like, "God, this is so classy." Like

everyone who comes you get like you get

this huge box of lipsticks and I'm going

I'm looking at the colors and then I

asked and they were like, "Oh, um, yeah,

Jennifer Lawrence left those few few

months back."

>> Yeah.

>> And so you've had month you have had

months of guests who look at that, they

go, "I'm fine. I don't need to engage in

that." I look at it. I already text it

to my mother, my partner, my best

friend. I'm like, "We made it." And I'm

taking it home. Actually, now you have

to because you've touched all of them.

>> Exactly. Well, they were they were

unused, so I go, "Well, this is

definitely a gift. This is a promotional

gift to me."

>> It absolutely is a gift now. It is.

You're taking all of those lipstick

home.

>> Anything free.

>> Kate Bland is here. Kate, on the drive

over here, I just want to give you

I want to give you a compliment.

>> I receive them. Well, I'm not one of

these me. No. I'm like, please.

>> Okay.

driving over here, I was filled with

glee cuz I was like, "This conversation

is going to be so fun, so funny, so

deep.

>> I love seeing you and never get to and

like this is a chance to just actually

hang out with you."

>> Yeah.

>> I loved your special. I watched it last

night. It's so

>> Thank you for watching it. Thank you.

>> You're welcome. Because I don't always

watch all of the things.

>> Well, I figure I was doing dishes last

night and I go, "By the way, she's not

going to watch it." And that's fine. I

know. She's so busy.

>> Sometimes I like I can't get to it.

>> You know I love you. Couldn't watch it.

Girl, I would have been like of course

you have so much to do. The media that

you're it's too much.

>> I couldn't wait to watch it and all of

us watched it. Love it.

>> But more than that, you are this giant

brain

avantgard interesting artist who is also

warm and nice.

>> It's hard to find those two things.

Sometimes people are like really nice

but maybe not adventurous in their art.

And sometimes people are like really

prickly, sharp, interesting artists who

maybe don't want to talk.

>> Yeah.

>> You to me are like the perfect

combination of those two things. You

talk about things that I am obsessed

with. Everything in your special it is

hitting me in such a deep way and I love

your work and you. It's okay. Brilliant

to see her.

>> Okay. Bye.

>> By the way, that was all on a prompter

just for people at home. It seems

authentic. I saw her and I go and

everything she said. Um, no. I love you

so much. You're Thank you. That's like I

I that's such kind words. It means so

much to me. And I

grew up with a picture of you on my

wall. I mean, it's we get to that, you

know, I told you this. I had the Upright

Citizens Brigade Manifesto printed out

on where the words where the text gets

really really tiny at the bottom. Like

I'm very like

>> we we have had the pleasure of being in

each other's simulations for a lot of

our lives. We we have and like the

topics that you talk about always speak

to me, but this latest special is

>> Oh, I can't wait.

>> Okay, I want to start there before we

get into the bigger picture of your life

because it is so top of mind and you

talk about the things that I love.

phones

>> and our love of my my phone is my best

friend.

>> Yeah.

>> Hair.

>> Yeah. I talk about hair.

>> Well, I talk about your hair in my mind

when I watch it.

>> Yeah. Totally. Thank you. Okay.

>> You don't talk about hair, but I want to

talk about your hair. It is

>> I got a haircut 3 days ago. Can you

believe it? The woman that cuts my hair.

She's amazing.

>> You with a haircut. Guan Fairfax, go get

her. She goes a few times. I go, she

only cut like an inch. Just an inch. She

goes, "I want extreme length for you."

And those words, "I want extreme length

for you. I want extreme length. And now

people I my it's extreme length. I'm not

going to go well I'm not going waist.

>> I noticed that your hair was longer than

usual and I was I was thrilled by it. I

love extreme length for you.

>> Okay. Thank you.

>> Um also you talk about the hell of being

a woman and how you you know rather have

it no other way. basically like the

combo of like what we are what we are

always negotiating with and that we

wouldn't trade it for anything like

that's what it feels like when I hear

your work.

>> Yeah.

>> And so for people um who are who are

maybe getting to know Kate for the first

time on this podcast, Kate is a comedian

and actress and um artist and she has a

new special uh on HBO called Parmesan.

And I would I would if you don't mind if

>> YOU'RE LAUGHING THEN DON'T EVEN BOTHER

tuning in.

>> I mean, but why is it called Parmesan?

>> Why is it called Parmesan? So, you know,

you hear this thing people go, "Oh,

here's a temp title. I'm not going to

call it Parmesan. That would be insane."

And it's one of those things that just I

it was just it was making me laugh

because it was just so ridiculous and

stupid. I think like I was talking to

Chelsea Pretty and she was like, "Oh,

you're doing a a special. What's it

called?" I said, "Parmant." I just

laughed and I was like, "Okay." Cuz it

it's just so deeply unserious and

ridiculous and what could that possibly

relate to? And by the way, the special

isn't about food in any way, right? Even

though you you love to talk about food

and you love restaurants.

>> I mentioned restaurants, but but uh but

no, Parmesan, if when when you watch the

special, you'll see it does reference a

joke in the in the special. And and not

to to to spoil the joke, but it's about

this idea of what we comment on,

what draws us to comment as people on

social media and on our phones, like

what we think is a way in which we're

going to connect with what we're reading

>> and the existential dilemma of that.

>> Yeah. Can you talk a little bit about

how addicted you are to your phone?

Because I am too and I genuinely

genuinely genuinely am.

>> I relapsed so hard. So

>> do you do you have work or program?

>> By the way, I have gone to ITAA

meetings. Internet technology addiction

anonymous. I don't know if I'm supposed

to say that. I don't know.

>> I actually would.

>> No, they're slow.

>> Save a seat for me as they like to say.

I've done I've done the Zooms twice, but

but still I was still I shared but I

like we do need help cuz we are in the

fight for our lives.

>> Yes.

>> And it's the kind of thing that it's

become it's like the weather. It's like

this thing that we're just in and it

kind of feels like

>> why bring it up? Why talk about it? But

I I can you know I've gone on on I was I

had six weeks of sobriety. I did a six

week cleanse. Nothing. I've done I've

done a month a few times.

>> Okay. Can you just step me through this?

What do you mean by nothing?

>> Okay, so

nothing. Me in a room. No. So what it is

is by nothing I mean no social media

whatsoever.

>> Yeah. Sure. Sure.

>> So I still have email and I'm still

texting 24/7 and doing anything else.

>> But no scrolling.

>> No scrolling.

>> And no Yeah. And not looking at

Instagram reels and no social media. Not

posting anything.

>> None of that.

>> Yes.

>> And the sixth week was really good. And

I said, I go, "I'm not going back this

time."

>> I like was telling everyone, I was like,

"No, I'm out." Yeah. No, I'm out. I'm

I'm out and I am right back. And like

last night, I found myself I was like

got home late

>> and I was like, I've had a long day of

working. You know what? I'm going to

unwind. I'm going to curl up on the

couch. And I and I'm and that's the

moment when it becomes infused with this

feeling of rest. Like this is rest. And

it's not.

>> It's actually chipping away in the

digital labor minds. And so I you know,

and I'm like, "Yes." And so, I mean, I

have it in the bath now.

>> Of course I have.

>> Of course, because I was doing bads, no

phone, and I go, "Babs, no phone." And

suddenly it's 1904 and I'm a novelist.

And it's like, and by the way, when you

go off your phone, I have found three

weeks of no scrolling.

>> Memories. I'm driving. Childhood

memories. Like, it's unbelievable. I'm

like, I'm back in the kitchen and I'm 10

years old and my father comes like like

it's like my brain is like, "Thank you."

it's opening up and it's flooding me

with images and and and it's like you

just start to think again. You start to

be more intimate with your life. And

that's the thing that's the most

devastating. We can talk about of course

the the you know the this the horror

machine of this and like the fascistic

machine of it and all of that but then

just on the base level like on a

personal psychological level like you've

lost all intimacy with yourself and like

that's the that's the the the crisis of

it. It's just so devastating. And once

you get a little bit of that intimacy,

you're like, "All right, no, this is

actually this is really medicinal." I

>> I mean, this is why I love talking to

you. You can we can go deep end so fast.

And then you also have jokes.

>> Okay. Me um another thing that chilled

me to the bone and made me laugh out

loud um while I was listening to the

your special

>> on my phone.

>> I watched it on my phone. I'm so sorry.

is um the idea about how men say they

want to be with funny women but they

hate funny women

is

>> let's go there

>> honey it is like it it's giving me a

flush right now actually think about it

it was so funny now the the idea the

sentiment of like funny women being a

threat isn't a necessarily a new one

>> but the way in which you present this

idea which is let me just for a minute

trouble this what and and present what

men actually want.

>> Yeah. Yeah.

>> What do you think in your way that is

like can we talk about that for a

second? How did you come up with just a

lifetime of being funny?

>> Well, I can actually tell you. So, I

there's this like central memory which

I've been like a ham and a goof since I

was like a baby, right? But I remember

so I went to an all girls school and I'm

strong if my girls are going to single

sex. Okay. You got to separate the

girls.

>> Did you like single sex school? Did you

like What do you think, sweetie? Yeah.

>> Yeah. You

>> free and then never free again.

Graduated and was never free. Yeah. No,

I I like

Thank God. And I started comedy. I did

stand up for the first time when I was

17 at my high school.

>> I read this in the basement of your high

school.

>> Yeah. So, but anyway, but so I was

always, of course, you know, the class

clown, all of that. And then I one day

after school, I was 14, 15, maybe 15

after school with a really cool and like

a cool guy like after school there's

like two cool guys in the room drum kit

listening to Neil Young Harvest like

what's this? Yeah, it's pretty cool.

Like doing that.

>> Yeah.

>> With my friend who was a gorgeous like

Pack Sun model, you know, like truly.

And she's over there and I'm here like

like talking to the guys.

>> Yeah.

>> And this guy who was like the really

popular cool guy, he was laughing and he

was like, "God, you know, you're really

funny." I was like, he was like, "You

should be careful though. Guys don't

like funny girls cuz it reminds them too

much of other guys."

I remember I was leaning against the

wall. I was sitting on the bed like

this, leaning against the wall and it

was like, "By the way, thank you for the

truth." And the honest say that I was

going to say that's an unbelievable

gift.

>> There it is.

>> There it is.

>> And

>> he was not wrong.

>> I heard it. It went in and I went,

"Yeah, I'm going to carry this weight

for the rest of my life." And it and it

was like it's really so so yeah I've

been kind of like teasing that out.

>> Yes. Well because also there's a the

bigger thing also behind it is there's

obviously like to be funny is to be a

little embarrassing and men hate being

embarrassed.

>> Go like this.

>> Everyone's like why? It's like no it's

cuz you're going

it's like that's why they're not kissing

you. No but like totally It is. It's

like, but it's

>> it's manifold. And by the way, if you I

want to just say this to clear the

record. Of course, there are guys who

like Of course I've dated them. You've

dated. We've all of course they exist.

It's like this does ex exist. It is

true. It's like if you're doing comedy,

you're you know, it's a historically

masculine role, you know, in society,

whatever. It

>> it just creates this like rupture. It's

like a weird like gender performance

thing that people are like. Like it just

it's it's

>> Yes. Rupture. Exactly. Right.

>> A divine rupture. I might argue a divine

rupture.

>> A divine one that's needed in our

culture. There's people who were voted

class clown women and in my school the

class clowns that were women were like

bad bad girls.

>> You know what's funny? So I was a good

girl in the sense that I slept at the

foot of my parents' bed, you know, my

entire life. Emotionally I was at the

foot. And so I was like a good girl.

like loved school, loved my friends, was

like, "Teacher, teacher," you know, like

I, you know,

>> um, but I did have a little bit of like

the the mischievous like, okay, I so a

bit of a prankster, benevolent pranks,

never hurt anyone. But I'm recalling

live, which is amazing cuz on the drive,

here I go. What are the stories? What's

my life? There's nothing. And then I'm

going, it's coming up. IT'S HAPPENING.

I'M HAVING MEMORIES. OKAY. SO, like

something that I used to do was, you

know, like the big drop down. This is

this is I could be arrested for this

actually. the big drop down maps like at

school of the world and of America. So

>> my little thing that I did is like I'm

gonna steal those for my for my bedroom.

So I so I would jump up, unscrew them

and walk out. And if you're walking if

you're 16 and you're walking with the

the map of the world out of the class,

they go, "Oh, she's supposed to do that.

Obviously someone asked her to move that

to the basement or whatever." So I

really got my rocks off doing that. And

I do have a bit of a klepto. I've

squashed it.

>> I I also have a bit of a klepto.

>> Well, I mean, women and and stealing and

kleptomania is very interesting and very

and because in a world where we feel

like, you know, we've been stolen from

what you said about makeup, how you feel

that women should be able to steal

>> safely and from big, you know, not mas,

but from the big guys, take a little

blush. Fine.

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah. We deserve it.

>> You're owed that blush

>> cuz a blush is mandatory,

>> right? And nobody's paying for it. the

government is not paying for our blush.

>> Tampons and blush has to be free.

>> Um, and then you also speak about um the

difference between dating men and dating

women because in the special you uh

congratulations,

you are gay now. Congrats.

>> Bye Amy.

Confused Amy.

Okay. I say gay is a shorthand because a

lot of people now, you know, bisexual,

you know, bisexual fem walks and they

go, "Oh, what? You kiss a girl in the

eighth grade, right?" And I'm going,

"No, I'm living that life." Actually,

>> right. I mean, this is so funny cuz I

talk about something special like

>> I'm genuinely obsessed with sexuality,

my sexuality. And it's like I also think

there's this like I grew up with this

narrative of like if you you know come

out later in life, it's cuz you had this

secret and you were like jerking off in

private and you were like no, no, no.

You know what I mean? It's like that's

not what my life was at all.

>> Yes.

>> Like I just was like always with men. I

fell in love with a woman. This like

other like room opened and I was like oh

>> yes.

>> And then of course and then I reflect

back and I go oh my god. And so then I

can be like wait so was it always I was

like my obsession with my PED teacher

and you know fourth grade I'm like

what's that?

>> She was gay. Yeah they all were. No, but

but like I go back and and so but I

guess I'm less interested in like

locking in to a certain category mostly

because I think what's interesting is

like failing and what's funny is like

failing within those categories. Like

I'm a failed straight woman for sure.

>> Yes.

>> But I'm still like I love the mall and I

love a beautiful, you know, like it's

like like

so what? But then but but I but like I'm

also like a failed gay woman.

>> Right. If I may, the thing you said

which I have never heard articulated

which and and that's why it was so

incredible because you're you're

>> because you've kind of lived in both

worlds. It's hot, right?

>> Because you've lived in both worlds.

the perspective of from kind of being

like on the other side looking almost

like back at what was like a way of

living and the realization that you came

to which is just again the comedic

realization but like all of your stuff

steeped in such truth is that

heterosexual relationships between men

and women kind of are often helpful to

women who don't want to be seen. And it

is

>> there it is. It is.

>> That's what fascinated me cuz I was

like, and by the way, I've had beautiful

relationships with men, but it's like

it's really fascinating to I did when I

kind of started to like be in like gay

relationships. I was like, oh, like

are I I truly was like, okay, are all

women are are women I believe that

straight women exist,

but is that all

>> people listening? Kate made a face like

>> but and I and I was like but is that

also just their way of being left alone

in a way? And I was like, and there

there's validity to that.

>> And and like obviously I'm also speaking

like everyone relax, okay? I know

there's straight people that are in love

and they're, you know, screaming,

laughing whatever but

>> but there is there is this inherent um

distance.

>> There's always distance between people

even in queer relationships, of course.

But there is this like there's this deep

distance between men and women. I am

also I think it's hard when you're when

you're comedian, when you're a class

clown, when you're an actor, I can

really love the performance of being of

femininity and God bless. And I am

attracted to masculinity. I love that

performance. So, I think there's

something there's something that is

always strange when it's only when

people don't know they're performing

that it starts to get scary.

>> That's exactly right. Like it was one of

my questions I wanted to ask you, which

is you're very good at this and we work

with a lot of people that are good at

this, which is we can mirror what people

want us to be like or like we can just

get in there and just be like I'm this

person. And the question for you is like

I think the the part of like growing up

and figuring yourself out is knowing

like that's actually expensive. Like it

takes something.

>> Oh yeah. Oh, the way the the full

performances I'm doing in case someone

sees I was just talking about this on my

podcast poo. But like airplanes are

really places where these performances

and gender really comes comes

pronounced. So like the other day I was

getting onto a plane and I had a

carry-on luggage to put overhead and

there was a guy right opposite and and I

kind of did this thing and he was like,

"Oh, like do you want to help with

that?" Whatever. I was like, "Yeah, do

you mind? Sorry." You know, whatever.

And and then he lifted it up and then I

said to him, I don't know why I go, I

have a shoulder thing I'm trying to not

aggravate.

>> And you made that up.

>> Yeah. Completely fake. And then I found

myself going, "Oh [ __ ] now I have to

kind of like do this shoulder injury.

I had another bag, a lighter bag to lift

up. And so I kind of lifted it up, but

in kind of like a like I I tried to

overcompensate, you know, and by the

way, he very well is bur buried in a

book. He's not even looking. But I'm

locked into the performance lest he

glance over." Yeah.

>> And then when we landed 6 hours later, I

go, "Time to get the show back on the

road." And then I was doing kind of, you

know, kind of

>> for who?

>> For who?

>> Who is watching? I know.

>> But don't you kind of think they're

watching?

>> Well, you know who's watching? I'm I'm

watching. Like that's the thing is like

>> the idea that like who we who are we

like what self is the real self is a

non-stop delightful journey for me. It's

it's absolutely endless and it's like

this is and this is where al also sex

sorry I said it someone had to

>> first comes in is like like and that's

why I think honestly class clowns and

this is where it can get hard funny on

funny two class clowns in bed it can get

complicated

>> you're right like that actually sounds

like oh god I don't know

>> you kind of need someone to go snap the

like no you need someone to be like [ __ ]

like unselfconsciously

like Like because I do I it's

complicated.

>> I'm obsessed with your relationship to

your own body on stage because like to

be looked at is already so intense and

the way you use your body to like ground

yourself in performance is so

interesting for me to watch.

>> You like like a dancer. I can feel the

way that you when I don't know when it

it feels like you regulate your thoughts

or anxiety or emotions by the way you

move.

>> No, I'm laughing. I love it because I've

never heard no one's ever seen me

before. So, thank you being seen for the

first time live. But, um, no, but but it

is actually, you're right. I've never no

one's ever said that or put that no

one's ever put this to me in these

terms, but it is how I self-regulate.

Like, there is like even like

>> it's it's like it's like that is

>> Yes. No, no, you are correct. And like

I, you know, love physical comedians.

Like I that's always what gets me and

like I've made crazy faces. I can't

stop. Help. You know, but but that is

how I get back inside my body, I think.

>> Yeah. It made me think about my own

stuff.

>> Me during tech. It's like, oh god. No.

But yeah. Yeah. It made me think about

like I I just did it now. Like my own

laughing. Like I love to laugh and

everyone's like I love to laugh and

laughing is so good for us.

>> And also laughing for me is expelling

anxiety like it is a way to just like

>> get shake out whatever is the feeling

that I'm having. And anytime dancing is

the same way for me. But it takes me so

long to realize that that is why I'm

doing something because I think

especially if you're like in the comedy

world or you're like a big thinker like

you're you're just like our brain we

just I use I'm like brain forward a lot

and I have to remind myself I have a

body.

>> Oh yeah. Oh yeah. This No, no, no, no.

>> Okay. Um anesthesia culture you talk

>> Yeah. I talk about anesthesia culture.

Look it up if you have to EDUCATE

YOURSELF NOW. IT'S SO FUNNY you guys.

[ __ ] I can't give away the joke, but

please watch it. But why you talk about

this idea that when we're under and we

come to how cocky the people are that

we're awake,

>> it's a we can talk about it. It's a

throwaway moment and it's special, I

guess you could say. But I talk about um

kind of going not enjoying going under

anesthesia because I don't like waking

up

>> and the idea that everyone in the room

is like laughing at you that you've been

asleep the whole time. Like it's like if

you're a performer it's like you're you

have to go under to go off

>> like it's like cuz it's like I'm sure

you're like me where it's like oh I can

turn off. Of course, like comedians want

to get serious like we're like,

>> but the only time you're free, by the

way, I'm hamming it up as I was going

under. I remember this. The guy was as

my anesthes I'm LIKE I'M LIKE, "GOD, you

look like Griffin Dunn." The first one

was like like

I was going so hard also cuz if I'm

nervous and if I'm in a medical

situation, so I have a lot of medical

anxiety. This is going to be this is

going to be the next special cuz I just

got like a completely unnecessary

angiogram. Oh, I actually I mean we

could talk about this forever cuz you

>> I'm obsessed with this idea that we are

now giving ourselves too much

information that's making us very

stressed.

>> Oh, of course.

>> Yes. And so you you had an angio.

>> I went a little hard on my neck with au

Instagram. Yeah. Instagram advertised to

me this neck massager. I go bought it.

Yes.

>> And then I was going really really hard

and I go, "Oh, it's a little too a

little too hard there." And then I start

looking up and they go, "Oh, well the

you know the veins, the arteries here,

you want to be really careful." probably

go the arteries in the neck. Oh god. And

then I texted Yeah. texted my doctor. Um

and um she really regrets the day she

gave me that and

>> and she was like, "I'm sure you're fine.

Whatever, but I'm so um I have that kind

of like sensation anxiety and stuff that

I was like, "Oh, I think something." So

then I I call Seed to talk to the doctor

and they're like, "We could order you a

CT scan. I mean, if you want to get an

angio, I mean, what's they go in? They

inject you with, you know, your veins

with

>> um dye and the whole thing." And I go,

"Well, that's insane." So, I'm putting

it off, putting it off, and then I go,

"I could do it next week." So, then I'm

being wheeled into the room

>> and everyone, you know, they're taking

they do the tests, everything, and

everyone's kind of looking at me cuz I'm

by far the youngest people in this. So,

I think people are kind of going, "Poor

woman. Like, what's going on with her?"

And so, I START GOING, "IT'S PROBABLY

NOTHING." YOU KNOW, HIU. YEAH. WENT a

little hard with the hiu, let's say.

>> Yeah. It's too much.

Let's go to Kada as a child.

>> Okay.

>> I skipped the whole kid thing.

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah. You were born as an adult.

>> 30.

>> Um, were you as a little little Kate in

LA in Los Angeles,

>> artist parents?

>> That was really hard. Yeah.

>> The rough side of Santa Monica. I was

going to say you were in Santa Monica.

>> Yeah.

>> Um

>> not in the industry. They're not in the

industry. Let's just get that.

>> What kind of artist are they?

>> Um so my dad works in metal collage.

>> It was funny. I was This was huge for me

a few years ago. There was like a New

York magazine piece about Nepo babies

and they and my face was in it next to

like like shame. I was like I'm famous.

I'm like what is this? And it was like

daughter of a sculptor, you know? I was

like trust me doll hasn't gotten me

work. You know what I mean? And then

like my mom did prop design and she did

make the Stonehenge prop in Smile Tap

famously.

>> So wow.

>> And that was also there cited as

nepotism. And I go

>> a little bit of a stretch.

>> It's a little bit of a stretch. But my

mom

>> um my mom was a stay-at-home mom if we

can even say that now, right? They're

taking that away.

>> So um but you know a deeply creative

person.

>> Did you grow up with her? Did you grow

up with artists around the house

chatting about art?

>> Yes, that's all. I'm I'm an only child.

My parents' friends did not have kids,

so it really was like me at the at the

dining at the dining room table with the

adults being like, I have something to

say, too. And I think that was, you

know, intensely informative.

>> And did you feel like I mean, I'm sure

you've spoken about it a lot. You might

have talked about it in your in your

specials, but what is the only child

dilemma? What is like the best and

>> or is there one? Is there one? Like

what's the good and bad thing about

being an only child?

>> I don't know. I mean I having siblings.

I don't know. I don't really like

sharing my mommy. I don't think so. Amy,

number one, please. Yeah. So, sharing my

mommy would have been hard, but I think,

you know, as you age, you go, "Oh, it

would be helpful." But then also, you

you never know what you're going to get.

I mean, people have siblings and it's

like they're helpful when when shit's

falling apart. So, so I don't know.

>> Well, your sibling relationship is often

the longest relationship in your life,

which I and I was like, whoa. I read

that and I was like, wow. Cuz that is

they, you know, like

>> and don't complicate it with sex.

>> Okay.

>> Never.

>> Cuz that's the thing that really don't

[ __ ] where you eat, guys.

>> Exactly, guys. If you could take away

one thing from Kate.

>> Yeah.

>> Um, so you're like this like precocious

kid in a way. Were you did you feel

older than you were when you were a kid?

>> But I think um watching I think so much

of what I like through mimicry like I

remember like when I saw Aaron

Brochovich I started doing my homework

in heels you know like

like like for real and I was like

yeah I'm into this.

>> Yes. And so I think that like watching

movies, watching people like be smart or

sound smart is kind of like,

>> yeah, I'm going to kind of just like

take that.

>> Okay. And then you did um some crazy

early jobs. And is it true that you were

a voice actor in Texas for a call-in

radio show?

>> Oh my god. Is that true? So I don't know

where I got hooked up with this, but it

was a thing where

>> you would do like so for call-in radio

shows where they're like morning radio

where they're like Yeah. So, we got

here, guy and a girl went on a first

date. Uh, the girl uh let's just say she

doesn't have a face or whatever, you

know? So, it's like these like these and

then but they're being presented as

real. So, I would play and they go like,

"We got we Okay, so we we have her on

the line. She has no idea that we're

that we're listening in. So, we're just

going to call." So, I would pretend to

be the person who's like, "Hello." You

know, and and I did I think like one and

Yeah, it was like

>> and then the like the casting was like

she was like, "You're good at this."

Yeah.

>> She's like, "You're good at this." Cuz

there's one where I had to pretend to be

crying. It's devastating. It was like

they're humilating this woman on air and

I have to be like, "Wait, what? I'm on

the radio." No. Like really sad. I mean,

that was a send up. Okay. I was doing it

rose grounded. I was Laura Lenny with

the Yeah.

>> But of course.

>> Um, but yeah, I did that a few times and

I think I'd get p I mean I think I you

know I would get paid like 75 bucks or

something. I don't know. But it was I'd

have to wake up like 4:00 a.m. cuz it

was the time to call you. So they call

me and I like wake up at dead sleep and

be like oh my god no whatever.

>> Yeah and then I slept through one.

>> Oh you missed your call. They were like

they were like we need you Dallas radio

7 a.m. Who knows where I was. I I woke

up. I saw the missed calls. Fired. Never

again. I get it.

>> Yeah they depend on you because of the

radio. Yeah.

>> Yeah. And they had to then on their side

they had to improvise like oh we can't

get a hold of her. They must have been

curious.

>> Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. I mean there is

hell hath no fury like a radio DJ.

>> They have to the segment suffers and

they can never bring you back.

>> And you know we cannot talk about like

your early early career like starting

out without talking about John Early.

>> Speaking of early because John Early and

you let's talk about John for a second

>> because the way you guys interact

together scratches a comedic itch for so

many people. Why do you think that is?

What is it that

>> amazing sex?

>> Yeah.

>> Yes.

>> When you can connect on that sematic

level with someone,

>> it can't help but reflect in the work.

>> Yeah. Um John, you know, it's like it is

like, you know, one of the great loves

of my life, John Early. Like we did we

are we like met in this very like

whirlwind like romantic way where it was

like we met and then in a very lesbian

fashion like we're inseparable and he

slept on my bed for like 3 years,

>> right?

>> And I was like, why can't I get a man?

>> I was like, SEE, IT'S HARD. IT'S

DIFFERENT FOR ME. YEAH.

>> YEAH.

>> And John, we met Yeah. We met on set of

a friend's short film and uh we had like

he had messaged me on Facebook or

something and I was like who's this and

then I watched a video of his and I was

like oh he's really funny.

>> We were trying to break it down today

because we're such fans of your work

alone of course and with John. And with

John, I'm not like the biggest I get a

little stressed when people come at each

other pretty hard. Like

>> in comedy, like I'm I I I'm not a big

roast fan. Like,

>> but the way you two gently knife each

other in the stuff that you do is like

>> fascinating to watch. I think it's funny

for us because like we don't similarly I

don't want to be roasted or ever roast

anyone and like John is you know like

from the south and like John's the last

like so I think

>> our like that's a place for us to like

go there.

>> Yes.

>> And but very much behind this like

character mask of course. Mhm.

>> Um but

>> yeah, I I don't know why it's funny

because we are like there have been

times or over the years we've been like

but we're not mean like like people are

like you guys are vicious like and it's

like no it's not like that's not what it

is.

>> No, it's not.

>> I I mean I don't I don't know exactly.

>> And it feels like there's like some

border around it that's surface level

which is always so funny when people are

not acting the way they're feeling.

That's just like inherently funny. Well,

I think that's exactly what it is. And

like we just like the failed performance

to say it again. Like when people think

that they're covering and they're not.

And when people are using the social

nicities to cover

>> like and like that is just heaven.

>> It's heaven. Me too. It's like when

someone is angry

>> and they are like trying to conduct a

meeting or something is heaven. How are

you with conflict? What's your conflict

style?

>> What do you mean?

>> Sorry, I said the word again. Conflict.

Sorry, I missed it. Um,

>> like when something like that happens,

do you get filled? I get filled with a

little bit of excitement.

>> Adrenaline. Oh, you mean like w like to

Well,

>> conflict is get

>> watching people fight through the My

favorite thing in the world is screaming

fight on the street safely watching from

the window. That and my heart's beating

through my chest. Yeah.

>> Yeah. Totally. Do you are do you have a

like direct conflict style? Do you have

do you feel like what when you're angry

about something, what does it look like?

Um, it's a it's a really interesting

question that my therapist should be

asking me and she's not. So, there's an

issue there that we'll explore later.

You should yell at her. You should yell

at her.

>> Maybe I withdraw.

>> I'm I'm wondering.

>> I'm probably going to go with withdraw.

>> Yeah.

>> Gun to my head. Withdraw.

>> Withdraw. Um, no. I think um I've talked

about it a lot, so I won't get into it,

but like I had a really upsetting

incident with a chimney sweep a couple

years ago.

I'll just say quickly quickly. He came

into my home,

>> came into my home doing a chimney sweep.

I go I go, "Oh, he has like no drop

cloths." I go, "Okay, so now I'm getting

into the forensic details, but I was

like, "White couch, white thing. I just

moved in." I go, "Oh, do you have like"

And this is this is funny. Do you have

like drop cloths or anything? He goes

and he kind of like laughs. He's like,

"I'm fine." And I go, "Okay." He's a

chimney seat. Well, I'm going to come

here. He knows how to do his job.

>> God forbid.

>> So I go, "Okay, I'm going to let you." I

go into I come back.

Amy.

>> Oh no.

>> Soot on the white couch. Soot on the

curtain set in the hallway. I go like

this. There's s and I'm like

>> there's soot in the home. And he kind of

do this thing like I mean

>> gaslight city.

>> By the way, and and here's where I

here's I I paid so not full cuz I'm in

there in the kitchen with the thing and

then I go I can't pay full price. Get

the boss on the phone. This whole thing

he goes maybe your house was dirty.

>> Yeah.

>> Sweet. Say it again. It was dirty.

>> Yeah. And so,

>> and you're basically being held hostage,

too. Like, you have to pay because you

want him out of your house.

>> Yeah. I want the chimney sweep gone. And

I'm so excited cuz I had an amazing

chimney sweep earlier years before and I

couldn't find his number. And he had

drop claws and he had respect.

>> Yes.

>> And so, but I I'll just say that night

went to bed literally permanent TMJ like

one night of clenching from the chimney

sweep and that years later. So, I should

be going to court and the and the

tension on this jaw brought the face

down. Okay. Okay. So, the tension on

this side. So, so I'm losing work, okay,

from that. So, the sh So, one night. So,

that wasn't that was an experience where

I could have gone harder in the moment.

I didn't cuz I was just like kind of

panicked and sad. But,

>> okay, but let's break down. You also

didn't go harder in the moment because

you've got somebody in your house.

>> Yeah, totally.

>> It's not a safe situation.

>> It's a man in your house for real.

>> And also,

>> that's when I wanted a husband. I go,

Eric.

>> You know, like that's when you that's

when you want that

>> you want to call for Eric.

Eric comes down from his study and he's

like "Hey man."

>> Yeah. No. Exactly. And then I go and I

go, "Yeah." And I walk away.

>> You walk away.

>> They get to have it out.

>> And you can hear Eric yelling a little

bit

>> and you get like a little

>> Eric's getting a BJ tonight.

>> Yeah.

>> Exactly.

>> So, that dynamic is fun and I get that.

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> Um, okay. So, John Early, we spoke to

him before this podcast because we

always speak to somebody who knows our

guests and John gave us some amazing um

questions for you.

>> Oh my god. Okay. Okay, so here we go.

John wants to know a couple things.

>> Okay.

>> Do you miss Paris?

Yes.

Okay. John wants to know, do you think

you're funny?

Yes. Okay. Um John wants to know, "How

are the kids?"

>> Amazing.

>> Congrats.

>> It's just, you know, Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah. They're at a a really fun age.

>> Yeah. Cool. What age is that?

>> Just right around that area where you

go.

>> They're become They're They're them, but

they're you. And it's

>> But you do know how old they are. Yeah.

>> Sure. Yeah.

>> Yeah. Okay. Good.

>> Fourish.

>> Forish. Yeah.

>> Um John wants to know, "So, are you gay

or what?"

>> John will do that to me. It's so funny.

Like he'll text me out and go, "Are you

gay? Bye." What is it?

So true.

>> Or my favorite thing like I'll be doing

a show and John will be like just

remember

the show is broken because you are

broken.

It's really funny

>> to me. The love language of comedy

people is my favorite thing in the

world.

>> He will leave a voicemail for me and

he'll be like it's just so like like the

yesterday so embarrassing. She's

promoting her special and she's doing

these press appearances and it's just

like, oh my god. Meanwhile, you know,

HBO, they're not going to release it.

I've already been on the phone with

them. They're holding it back. And there

she is trotting out in her little

outfits and they'll be like, oh my god,

[ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] hang. Oh, it

kills.

>> He pretends he's

>> he pretends that he's calling someone

else or he pretends he's accidentally

leaving it on my machine.

>> Oh my god, it's really funny. That to me

feel makes me feel so safe and love.

>> Yeah. Yeah. It's really sweet.

>> And then shoes on or off?

>> Off.

>> Always.

>> In the home off.

>> So when someone comes to your home, do

you say, "Please take your shoes off?"

>> So I have a I have a small home to quote

the handyman who came to the house when

I first moved in. And this is a direct

quote. Never have I seen a house so

small. And that was the exact delivery.

That was the exact language used. I go,

I mean, it's not that small. I mean, I

don't have Eric. I don't have a rich

husband. You know, I go, I thought, you

know, um and then I'll just say a couple

days later, he returned and he goes, do

you have many more things to move into

this very small home?

>> And by the way, the living room, there's

no couch, there was nothing. I go, well,

yeah, I have to bring in the furniture.

And he go and I go, but there's not that

much. And he goes, that's good because

it's so small.

So, because the house is small, I don't

I don't have a grand foyer, you know,

there's no room for a shoe rack. So, we

have kind of have like a horrifying

pile, a little pile by the front door.

So, it depends depending on I'll kind of

be like take them off if I just, you

know.

>> Do you put on a house slipper?

>> Oh, yeah. I have I have multiple house

slippers.

>> This is what I Thank you. Mhm.

>> Another reason why I love you, Kate, is

because I know you love things and you

really

>> and I would say that one of the things

that's so amazing about you and

Jacqueline and Poo, which is an

incredible podcast and congrats on that,

the success of that because it's so

funny and good. And you guys, for people

that don't know, Pooh like deep dives

into products in a way much like how

we're talking today where Kate and

Jacqueline Novak, a super talented

writer, performer. They like talk about

a red light mask and then somehow get to

Dante's Inferno very fast.

>> It's very high meets low and it's very,

you know, we started Poo in COVID. Yes.

>> And really kind of started as a way poo

goop backwards. Get it? Okay. So, and

kind of as like a wellness, beauty

podcast, but really also just a way that

we could get free stuff, which has been

incredible. And so, we were like, people

will send us these products and then,

you know, Yeah.

>> So, but but and also kind of this idea

of like searching for the right product

and that the and there's this

misconception that you want to find the

right product. You actually don't. You

want to engage in the in the search

forever. The search is kind of, you

know, the ego loves to search and never

to find. And we'll just let that sit.

Yeah.

>> 3 2 1. And so that constant manic

there is this product out there, this

person out there, this thing out there,

and then you're going to arrive and

you're going to be whole and you're

going to be healed, you're going to be

beautiful. It's like we we on some level

we know that's not coming, but it's

really fun to go

>> and try the serum to go I think it's

doing something. And to have fun, a new

lipstick, a new like there's pleasure in

that.

>> Yes. And so on Pug, you guys talk about

things and I love listening to it

because like you, I am in the pursuit

for like the platonic best thing for the

thing like as if my life is going to get

smaller and simpler if I just get the

right thing. But I do want to know what

shoe you bought for your house shoe.

>> So this is kind of cheating because it

is it was a gift.

>> Okay,

>> but I'm going to go with a classic UGG.

Sorry, UGG. There's so many different

kinds of slippers. And I by actually I

paid out of pocket. I purchased the

ultra mini um boot that's like under the

ankle almost.

>> Okay. Yes.

>> Um this uh kind of

>> Does it have a fur lining? Like is it

okay?

>> So by the way, even today 140° getting

into the boot first thing.

>> You are you have to keep your feet warm.

>> How do you feel about air conditioning?

Like are you an AC person? Do you keep

it cool?

>> Blast it down.

>> Me too.

>> Yeah. I mean, I really last night I was

cuz I sleep naked, guys. This isn't

about that. I'm here to talk about my

work but

and I want an eight sleep. And hi, I'm

here on this podcast. Hey, eight sleep

or Yeah, now's the time. Send them now.

If that if this doesn't get me AN EIGHT

SLEEP, IF THIS THIS DOESN'T GET ME AN

EIGHT SLEEP, please get Kate a sleep.

And so I'm going to end our talk today.

>> No, no, no,

>> I know. I know. But I You have a lot of

incredible takes on things.

>> Oh.

>> So I want to get your thoughts on

things. They don't have to be funny.

They can be whatever they you can it can

be whatever you want.

>> The moon fake.

>> Like again.

>> Yeah. Every night.

>> Every night.

>> I just want to see

>> Yeah.

>> something different from it.

I mean, it does change every night. I

mean, it gets

>> But in the same way, you know what I

mean? When people People change in the

same way. You go, "Now you're doing this

thing. Now you're doing that thing.

You're concealing this part. You're

concealing that part." Yeah.

>> Oh, no. I'm right here in the open. No,

you're not cuz you're going to be gone

tomorrow.

>> Psychics.

>> I believe there are gifted psychics.

Like I People are tapped in.

>> Do you believe you have any psychic

abilities?

>> YEAH.

>> YEAH. You do for real?

>> Yes. Have you ever predicted anything?

Yes.

>> What?

>> Can't get into it.

>> Okay.

>> No, I I think we all, you know, psychop

we all we all

>> I don't feel like I have psychic

abilities.

>> I have stuff.

>> I can read people and I can I feel like

I'm pretty good at noticing energies,

but I don't feel like I have a psychic

ability to figure out that out. But

>> I've had some some interesting

instances. But again, I'm on my phone

all day, so I'm blocking all of that

out.

>> Yeah. Okay. Um, what about ghosts? Have

you seen any ever?

>> Yes.

>> Yes.

>> So, so you've talked to ghost. So,

people you look at me, long hair, you

know, oh, who's this, you know, witchy

psychic ghost people? I'm actually

typically not I I don't I don't like

karaoke, for example. People think

things about me. Okay. So, um and I, um

I was told not to talk about it because

then they they they take it as a way to

kind of come in. I I swear to God the

last couple years. Let me see.

>> You've been seeing some ghosts. You have

to talk to my friend Rachel Dash because

she does she is really into woo woo and

she kind of collects woo woo stories.

>> I've had some I've had some like um I've

always been scared of ghosts and then

the last couple years I've seen a few

and actually some situations I would

think would really scare me. No fear

whatsoever. Completely fine. I've had

two upsetting experiences that really

freaked me out.

>> Okay. So, I kind of went to someone and

went like, "Let's close the door."

>> Um,

>> God, I wish I could see a ghost. I have

not seen a ghost and I I just They just

do not [ __ ] with me. Ghosts. I

>> You don't want it. I don't think I don't

know. I don't know. Some, you know, some

people I would like to come through and

I'm interested in that. But, um, maybe

not.

>> But,

>> okay.

>> Once you've had a couple bad ones, you

go,

>> "Yeah,

>> let's just say I've got some special

figurines on on my nightstand lately."

>> Some crystals.

>> I was given some figurines.

>> Okay. cuz I go,

>> I don't want to see that one anymore.

>> Yeah.

>> And they were like, for $29.99, I can

give you this.

>> I know. Truly, the amount of people

friends I've had that have been like,

and she said that for $500, she could

lift the curse. I'm like, oh, no. I

mean, people that really

>> because let's let's lift the curse for

free. How about we try that?

>> All curses can and should be lifted for

free.

>> Yeah, like makeup and tampons. Um, Los

Angeles.

>> I'm from LA. I lived in New York for 10

years. I'm there all the time. But I

think the um, you know, people love to

talk [ __ ] on LA. And even this conver

you even this feels cliche when I'm when

I'm dropping into right of kind of like

people like I talk but I um I love Los

Angeles you know she can be a cruel

mistress but to me it's it's Hollywood

it's dreams it's it's it's images it's

lizards it's cactus it's a it's a palm

tree half on fire you know it's it's all

of Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> There's something brutally solitary

about Los Angeles. I love New York so

much. So many times I go back to New

York and I'm like I've ruined my life by

not living here. I'd be a better artist.

to be more connected to to people, to

strangers. Like I I I really long for

strangers and for those like

interactions that really feeds me on a

deep level. And I I am sad that in LA

it's harder to get those interactions.

>> Um but I think uh

I don't know LA is is it is it isn't

it's strange.

>> Yes. And it can make you feel I remember

after living in New York coming back to

LA and being like well I've never felt

uglier more exposed more alone driving

in the car looking in the mirror like

>> like you're alien you're like who is

that?

>> It's so bright.

>> It's so bright there's nowhere to hide

and yet it only can hides you. I don't

know but

>> you love her.

>> You love her. Come on. Seeing those

hills speckled with homes lit up at

night. Drive down Hollywood Boulevard.

It's a man with a machete outside the

man's Chinese and you go

>> and you I'm home.

>> We're dreaming. We create the dreams,

Amy. This town

>> creates the fantasies that drive the

world.

>> And what's um and what's making you

laugh?

>> My last question to you like like what

do you do to laugh? And you can't say

you're friends. just go watch people

fall down at the supermarket.

Um, what makes me laugh is

non-performers performing. Like,

>> I've been to a couple weddings, a couple

like those kinds of environments where

someone who's not a performer is giving

a speech.

>> Yes.

>> That is exquisite.

>> And let's talk through that because I

know what you mean. And I bet you're the

same like as women like our mirror

neurons, we we don't want anyone to be

humiliated. No, of course. Of course

not.

>> And it's sweet. You see people scary up

there? I'm a performer. I'm scared up

there.

>> Yes. But when it's like a little bit

awkward but fun, but what do you what

what makes you laugh? Like what what do

you what's your your like perfect

version of that?

>> I think what's so fascinating about

wedding speeches is there's like this

template and people are like

>> like this is something I've talked about

with John. So classically the bridesmaid

speech, you're the bride, right?

>> You're this, you're funny, it's fine.

and come. It's listing things. And in

the vows too, it's usually

and whether we're or

it's like so shocking. It's like this

rehearsed and there's a beauty in that.

Like this is the structure we can all

fall into and collapse into those

familiar language and everyone knows

exactly what's going to happen. And but

but it's like that's funny. Yes.

>> Like that that that's that's really and

again the listing traits.

>> Yes.

>> It's always listing traits.

>> I know. It's so funny.

>> You're goofy. You're smart. You're kind.

And you're generous.

Listing traits.

We have to go beyond the list.

>> Yes. But breaking out of that is

>> I understand too. I'm saying that I'm

not admonishing the list. I get it.

>> You're right. That's You could hear that

language. You could hear that rhythm and

>> a hint a hint and a It's like it's

really there. Yeah.

>> Yeah. I totally I love a wedding. love

>> if it's a bad wedding, I'm like,

you know, if everyone if there's like a

clumsy speech or people are stressed or

the wrong person cries or the ex is

there and it's awkward, I'm like, oh my

god, what theater. And if it's beautiful

and full of love, I'm like, amazing. I

love that, too. I love a wedding.

>> And I and I just I love parties so much

and I'm very like planner. Like, if I

didn't if I didn't do what I do, I think

I'd be like party planner.

I've never I've never Yeah, maybe.

>> Wait, tell me.

>> Professor/p partyy planner.

>> Yeah,

>> but what parties make me a little

stressed? They're very unstructured.

>> No, totally. Well, I I go, "Oh my god,

the apps like bring out the apps now."

You know, I was actually at a wedding

recently. Nice one. App broken glass

bleeding in my mouth.

>> Ran to the bathroom. There's blood. I

spit I spit out in THE CEVICHE. THERE'S

GLASS.

>> SO, I GO BACK. I GO I GO IN. I don't

tell anyone. I'm not going to ruin this

wedding. I go into the kitchen through

the doors into the metal doors. I go,

"Guys, the ceviche trays, you got to

pull them. You got to pull them. There's

glass, you know, and I quietly Oh,

>> quietly.

>> You want to put out those fires

>> and all micro like I definitely have

like kind of a white knuckle grip. Like

I love to have a dinner party or

something and I love to spend the days

awake, you know, the nights before. It's

not a simple. It's it's not the

effortless host is a lie. I I think it's

real. Some people actually can do that,

>> but like I'm like

>> shaking.

>> Yeah,

>> but there's things you can't control.

You can control the party, but guess

what? Overcontrolled party. Hell. Hell

for everyone.

>> Hell.

>> So that's the thing. You have to create

the structure, but you have to let it to

dissolve.

>> Yeah. Yes. You might burn like

something's going to burn the like

someone's going to get into a bite. Like

wine will be spilled. A chimney sweep

may show up.

>> Yeah, he might.

>> Yeah, he might. Hey, he might give you

TMJ,

>> but you keep going.

>> And that is something the second thing

we want you to take away from other than

having sex with your sibling. Don't do

that.

>> Don't. Guys, don't do it. Don't do it.

>> Capland.

>> I love you. Wait. I love you so much.

You are a hero to me. I have no trouble

saying that to you. And also truly going

through a really hard time recently.

What did I pop on? Wet hot.

They came together double feature

because I'm like I need something funny.

I'm thinking okay funny movie. What's a

funny movie? Oh that's funny. Nothing's

coming up. And then I go we're going

we're going back to with wet hot lives

in my DNA and such a I mean

>> you must have been a teen when it came

out. Right.

>> Yeah. I don't remember when I first saw

it. I saw it later.

>> Yeah.

>> But um

>> it is the most beautiful and just Yeah.

>> Thank you, Kate. I love I love seeing

>> and that's just the tip. I'm not going

to do your CV. We all know. But I love

you.

>> Thank you, Kate.

>> I love you.

>> Thank you so much, Kate Bland. That was

so fun. I love talking to you and you're

so funny and um it's just a joy to be

around you. So, uh Kate and I talked

about a lot of things. One of the things

we talked about is how fun it is to

watch a awkward wedding speech. But I

just want to say for people that are

right now getting ready to give a

speech, a wedding speech, just a few

tips. Here are my unsolicited tips,

which start with a joke, end

sincere. Don't do it the other way

around. Don't start sincere and then

think that this hilarious joke is going

to kill. Start with a really nice, easy

joke up front. Maybe something about how

you're nervous, something self- aacing,

and then just get them at the end by

being very, very sincere. You can never

go wrong if you're sincere. You can go

horribly wrong if you say the wrong

joke. So, that would be my unsolicited

advice. But congratulations on your

wedding and congratulations on being the

bridesmaid. And um remember, take your

speech and cut it in half because it's

going to go longer than you think. Um,

thank you so much for listening to Good

Hang. Uh, thanks for checking in with us

and, um, have a good one.

You've been listening to Good Hang. The

executive producers for this show are

Bill Simmons, Jenna Weiss Berman, and

me, Amy Polar. The show is produced by

The Ringer and Paperkite. For the Ringer

production by Jack Wilson, Cat Spalain,

Kaia McMullen, Aia Xanerys, Bridget

Gearlings, Paige Garberini, Bell Roman,

and Drew Vanstein Bergen. For Paperkite,

production by Sam Green, Joel Levelvel,

and Jenna Weiss Berman. Original music

by Amy Miles.

really good. Hey